Careful What You Wish For
by OriginDiscord
Summary: Being treated like he was invisible for so long, Izaya makes a wish to just disappear, thinking no one would even notice. However, he angers a sleeping spirit who gladly grants his wish. Other conflict follows after. AU. Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

This is a AU, where instead of Shinra being the one getting stabbed by Nakura, Izaya was stabbed protecting Shinra. Much OOCness, but cute and adorable and will be horribly sad XD'' Hope you enjoy ^ ^

And yes, Shizaya cuteness will come in future chapters ^ ^

The school bell rang, echoing through the breezy-sunny day in Ikebukuro. The city was buzzeling with activity, as always. Gangs walked the streets, though few in number; people ran up and down the side walks shopping, and others stuck in traffic as they tried to get to their jobs. And for some, rather most importantly, were rushing to the school grounds, jumping over whatever obstacle that came in their way.

One minute until school started. Usually, the students of Raijin Academy never bothered rushing, never really caring about school in the first place. But today was different. Today was a field trip day.

"Are you excited?" A squeaky and rather dorky voice exclaimed, pressing his palms together as he stared off into space. "Being able to visit the festival that only rolls around once a year~!"

"Tch, beats school work," the tall-blonde sighed, uninterested. He just leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling with a new toothpick swirling around in his mouth. He always seemed to need something to keep him preoccupied.

"Well, some of us need the extra grades," Kadota reminded him, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. He normally didn't like missing out on school, because the faster you did the work the faster you could get out. That was his philosophy, anyway.

The three didn't even seem to notice as the raven-haired boy walked up to them, holding the strap of his shoulder backpack like always. Then again, after what happened to him, no one could blame him. Back when they were in elementary school, someone by the name of Nakura tried to stab Shinra. Unable to bear this, Izaya stepped in the way, facing the blade's wrath. In many ways, that incident may have been for the better. He wasn't the same slimy snake that went around, trying to cheat and blackmail people anymore.

For once, he seemed to rely on others.

"Oh, hey there Izaya," Shinra smiled brightly. The raven smiled back, giving a small wave though not letting his hands off the shoulder strap. Dotachin gave a silent wave, like always. He wasn't much of the talkative type unless you got him going. Then there was Shizuo... he just remained staring at the ceiling as if he never showed up in the first place.

Izaya couldn't help but sigh, eyes turning their gaze to the floor. It was like this everyday. Unless he was somehow in danger, like nearly tripping down the stairs or being murdered by a ball, Shizuo didn't take notice. At least he was protective of him, it showed that he actually cared about him, slightly. But he did that to all his friends, but unlike to Izaya, actually talked to them.

"You ready for the festival today?" Shinra asked, going over to him and gently grasping his hands. Izaya let out a small squeak, nearly closing his eyes from the sudden contact. "Oh, sorry, I always forget," the young doctor in training apologized, scratching the back of his head.

"I-it's okay. I'm sorry," he blushed in embarrassment, looking the other way. Yeah, he never got over that incident either. He was easily startled by any sudden contact and always carried a flick-blade with him. He wasn't a master at it yet, but he was still pretty handy with it. In any case, he felt safer with it.

"Well, you excited?"

"Ehh, I guess," he dryly replied. Shinra just laughed, ruffling his hair a bit. "Ah, it'll be fun! Just you watch!" Izaya gave a small smile, but the raven was only half paying attention. He really didn't care about this kind of stuff. In all honesty, he didn't care about being here. He loved Shinra, yes, unless he wouldn't have taken the knife for him. But knowing he could never get the blonde's attention always hurt him. Sometimes he purposely got himself in precarious situations, just to feel the blonde's protective body against his.

So, he had a crush on one of his friends! He couldn't help it! But, he didn't even know if he could call him his friend. He never talked to him, and when he did, he always had this irritated or angry scowl. Even when he saved him, he just asked if he was okay before leaving.

_'Shizuo... why am I so invisible to you...?' _

"Okay class, start lining up outside by your groups of four. - Hurry, the buses are here." The four friends quickly did what they were told and gathered in the hallway. Kadota started talking to Shizuo about something, but Izaya didn't even bother listening to what it was. They often ignored any comments he had anyway.

"This way please." The classes followed their teachers down the halls and into the parking lot. There were a total of fifteen buses, hopefully enough for the whole school. Shinra and Kadota were seated next to each other, and Izaya and Shizuo were fated. The blonde took the outside seat, not even seeming to care if Izaya had a preference. The raven just sighed, scouting past him and taking a seat next to the window. Any other day, he would've been thrilled to be seated next to him, but he's given up by now. His heart was just too broken.

The three of them talked the entire ride there, even making Shizuo laugh a few times. But it wasn't like they took the initiative to include him in the conversation, so the raven glued his forehead against the window, drifting off into a light sleep.

When they finally arrived, he was gently shaken awake by Shinra, who's face was full of guilt.

"I'm sooo sorry Izaya, we didn't know you were sleeping," Shinra frowned, rustling his fingers through his raven hair. The raven just stared up at him with those sleepy eyes, hiding the sorrow within him.

They had forgotten him and had to come back. God, if only he could scream. He didn't say anything as Shinra helped his sleepy limbs up and dragged him off the bus. Kadota and Shizuo were there waiting for him, but he didn't dare look up to see their expressions. He knew Shizuo was probably irritated.

"Lets go forth, shall we?" Shinra smiled, hooking his arm around Izaya's. The raven just tuned them out, staring absentmindedly in-front of them. This was how things had been going ever since Izaya transferred back to Ikebukuro. He was home-schooled for a while, due to his parent's concern after being stabbed. While he was away, his only friend managed to find yet another best friend, one that didn't seem to like him. Kadota was alright, he talked to him most of the time. But it was Shizuo.

_'That dammed brute,' _he silently cursed to himself, clenching his fists in agitation. Why did he have to mask his presence so much? He might as well have died when the knife hit him.

For half the trip, it went relatively the same. Shinra had even lost his grip on the poor raven at one point, and didn't seem to realize it. It was okay though, it wasn't like Izaya was going to get lost without him. He just felt even worse.

Every now and then Kadota would try to include him into a conversation, but the raven's heart just wasn't in it anymore. He'd respond with short answers or nods. To be honest, Kadota seemed rather concerned about him, but he didn't say anything if he really was.

"Hey, it's eleven elven! Make a wish everyone!" Shinra's voice chimed, snapping the boy out of his non-existent thoughts. Eleven eleven, heh, Shinra always boasted how that silly incantation actually worked. When it was eleven in the morning or afternoon, and eleven minutes had passed, people could make a wish with hopes of it becoming true. Usually he thought these things were utterly ridiculous, but he was desperate at this point.

Quickly, he pulled out his phone, seeing the time was still the same. Closing his eyes, he prayed, _'Please... make Shizuo like me...' _

"Oafff," he muttered, bumping into the tall figure right after. Izaya took a step back, putting his phone away even faster then he could pull his knife out. "S-sorry," he nearly bowed, eyes gazing to the floor in regret. He really must've been a stupid idiot, or the gods really hated him.

"Watch where you're going next time," Shizuo plainly stated, patting him on the head slightly. Izaya flinched, using all his will power not to pull his flick-blade out in utter shock. "You can get yourself hurt." Izaya didn't even pay attention as the monster's hand slowly slid off his head, as it usually did when he did something stupid. He'd prefer a hug, but this was nothing dangerous. Shizuo was just getting overly protective, most likely because they were in a strange place. Who knows what kind of people were out here.

_'At least he noticed me... even if it was for a few seconds,'_ he sighed, the small blush that flickered on his face disappearing. They walked for another good hour or so, and everything turned back to how it was earlier. Izaya's spirits began dampening yet again. He really must be invisible after all.

"Is that a fortune tree?" Kadota asked, surprising the raven slightly. When was Kadota ever into wishing things? Guess Shinra was talking about it on the way here.

"YES! There it is! See, I told you there was going to be one!" Shinra giggled, running up to it. The three of them followed suit, staring down at the small papers and weird looking pens on the table. Izaya could swear there was a barely visible watermark on the paper, but he couldn't quite make out what it said.

"Is this free?" Shinra wondered out-loud, looking around to see if there was anyone to mind the small-natural booth. When no one came, he turned back to the paper. "Guess it is. - Come on guys, make a wish! They say when you hang your wish on the tree, it reaches the words of one person and grants them their wish, sometimes being even greater then it was originally supposed to be!"

"Tch, all this hocus-pocus is a waste of time," Shizuo muttered, crossing his arms. Shinra gave a frown, trying to make him write a wish out. The raven just shook them away, writing down a second wish for the day.

He hated this. He hated all this. He just wanted to be gone if he was invisible to everyone else.

_'I wish I could disappear since everyone treats me like I'm invisible.'_ Signing it, he quickly wrapped it around a small branch._ 'Please... Grant my wish,'_ he practically begged before noticing that his friends had left without him; again.

Dammit... Why couldn't he just run off now and see if they noticed? He didn't even know how long it took them to notice he was missing when he was sleeping on the bus. Ahhh.

A small tear somehow managed to roll down his cheek, making him immediately brush it away.

"Oi, Izaya!" Shinra whined, waving at him from a booth quite far away. "Hurry up!"

Yeah, like he wanted to hurry up. But he didn't have much of a choice anyway, so he walked over to them, arm being hooked into Shinra's once again. He felt like such a toddler like this.

"It's almost time for the ceremony!" The rest of the time spend there was watching the ceremony quietly, honoring some of the spirits and thanking all those who have passed away. The bus ride back was the same as the one there, but this time Izaya couldn't sleep. He couldn't help but feel as if something was different.

Were they being, watched? That's the feeling he felt at least. But as he non-nonchalantly looked around, everyone seemed to be minding their own business. Maybe he was just being paranoid, like always. But he couldn't get rid of that feeling in the back of his mind...


	2. Chapter 2

It took the bus a good hour to finally arrive back at the school. Six thirty-eight; good thing they were having a school lock-in today, or his parents would no doubt be frantic. Luckily enough, the raven didn't fall asleep this time, so he didn't have to worry about being left behind again.

"Hm, wonder what we're gonna do first," Shinra wondered as they entered the cafeteria. Most of everyone's things were stacked against the walls, the smell of fresh food waffling over to them. Even Izaya snapped out of his thoughts and eagerly followed his nose to the end of the line. They didn't care if the food was bad, they were starving.

"Eww, looks like yesterday's left-over chicken and rice," Izaya deadpanned, gripping the back of Shinra's shirt slightly. He was nervous, even more then he was on the bus. The feeling of being stared at had intensified as if eyes were piercing through his back.

Maybe it was a warning? But who would want to stab him at this school? Not like he talked to anyone or anything.

"You okay?" Shizuo's voice rang, making the raven jump. He didn't need his heart to be broken right now.

"Y-yeahhh," he weakly smiled, not meeting the blonde's eyes. He really didn't want to see his reaction to how pitiful he was being. Shizuo's opinions always meant the world to him, which was more of the reason why he felt so invisible. If the blonde didn't talk to him, then he might as well not exist.

"Don't give me that shit," he replied, making the raven flinch a bit. He didn't like being yelled at, but what could he say? He didn't want to tell Shizuo the truth, he'd probably think he was crazy or something. He couldn't stand disappointing him any further.

"You wouldn't believe me," Izaya sighed, turning his head the other way, letting his arm fall limp to his side. The feeling only intensified, making another nervous sweat bead down the side of his face. He could swear something was standing right in-front of him, threatening to stab him where he was injured before.

"H-hey, Izaya," Shizuo asked again, though more urgently. But the raven didn't even seem to notice, his face paling over tremendously. He didn't even really hear Shizuo's words, feeling as if something was reaching out to him. His chest felt cold and distant, as if he had frost bite or something.

_'Trade...?'_ He heard a small voice mutter. It sent shivers down his spine, making him gulp in utter fear. He couldn't scream, he couldn't speak, and he couldn't move. Slowly, he felt his body going limp, swaying a bit.

"Hey!" The blonde's voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts, feeling strong arms wrap around his waist and shoulder to keep him aloft. "Hey man, what's wrong?" Izaya hazily looked over at the blonde, feeling the coldness disappear almost instantly at the brute's touch.

"H-huh?" He muttered before feeling his skin boil over in a blush. Shizuo, the one he had a crush on, had his arm around his waist to help hold him up. What was going on here? Why was he suddenly paying attention to him?

"You alright?" This seemed to finally draw Shinra's and Kadota's attentions, turning with rather concerned faces. Izaya looked at his friends, too red and bashful to say anything. Like always, they only really paid attention when he needed aid.

"I-I, I...," he trailed off, unable to say anything. How was he supposed to tell them what happened? They'd think he was schizophrenic or something. He was beginning to think he was.

"How about you go and sit down, we'll get you some food," Shinra frowned, rustling his hair a bit. "Your face is all red."

"I'll help him over, save my spot, would yeah?" The blonde asked, making Izaya blush even more. Ahh, why did Shizuo have to be such an airhead?

"Okay, we'll just get you both helpings, if you want to stay with him." Shizuo opened his mouth to say something, but his gaze was quickly tossed in another direction. It made the three of them uneasy, trying to look past the blonde to see what had gotten his attention so suddenly.

"What is it Shizuo?" Izaya asked this time, wondering if he was catching glimpse of what he felt earlier. But the blonde didn't respond at first, continuing to gaze at something they couldn't see.

"It's nothing, thought I saw... never-mind." He didn't say anything else as he wrapped Izaya's arm around his tall neck, making the raven squeak a bit. It was a little over excessive, wasn't it? Then again, the brute probably thought he'd fall over at any minute.

"What did you see, i-if you don't mind me asking," Izaya shyly asked, hesitantly looking him in the eyes. The blonde stared back into his, a strange look completely engulfing his face before turning away. What, did his breath smell bad? Or did he not like seeing his face?

Ahhh, why couldn't he just die now?

"Well, what made you nearly fall over like that?" Shizuo asked, turning to him again. "You should tell someone if you aren't feeling well you know."

The raven blushed even more. So now he was worried about his health? "I-I don't know how to explain it... without you thinking I'm a complete lunatic." The blonde seemed to frown at the answer, gently scooping the small boy off his feet.

_'E-eh!'_ He blushed to himself, not moving an inch as Shizuo gently set him against the wall. It was more comfortable then he thought it was going to be, but that was probably due to the backpacks. But still, why did he have to go and do that? It only made the raven fall for him more.

"As long as it isn't any fake shit, I'm sure it'll be fine." Izaya wanted to argue with the blonde further, but knew it would be pointless.

"W-well, my stomach felt cold, as if it suddenly got frost-bite... and my scar began hurting," he gulped, not even bothering to look into Shizuo's eyes. This must've sounded completely insane.

"Go on," he ushered, catching the raven completely off-guard. Was Shizuo really buying this? Not that it was fake in the first place, but actually accepting it? Just to be sure, Izaya slowly turned his head back to the blonde, seeing a small smile suddenly wash upon his face. "Don't worry, you're not a lunatic, just keep talking."

"I-I heard a voice, though, it sounded rather distant," he sank a little more to the ground, his voice getting lower. Shizuo had to lean in more to catch any words that were spoken; close enough that Izaya could hear him breathing.

_'Ahhh, you cruel cruel world!'_

"What did it say?"

"All it asked was 'trade'."

"Trade? It said nothing else?" Izaya shook his head before feeling his scar sting, quickly grasping the wound on instinct. It felt as if something really cold was touching it, making it hotter then steam.

"Ughhh," he moaned, hunching over slightly.

_'Liar,__** LIARRR!'**_

"Izaya!" Shizuo's voice brought him back, feeling strong arms on his cheeks, tilting his head up to face him. He seemed worried, more then he's ever seen the blonde. What was this? "Ah, don't scare me like that," he sighed, slowly sliding his hands off his skin. Izaya raised a questioning eyebrow, obviously showing how confused he was.

"You weren't responding for a few minutes," Shizuo honestly replied, eyes staring down at the hand that was still curled against his chest. "What hurts? - Should I get the nurse?"

Izaya shook his head, obviously scared about something. "Did... did you hear anything just now?"

Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow, but shook his head. "No... what did you hear this time?"

Izaya wanted to just push him away and fall into a deep slumber forever. For all he knew, Shizuo was just messing with him to embarrass him. He was never this nice to him! Rather, he never paid this much attention to him.

But he couldn't resist his crush, no matter how much pain he felt. "I-it called me a liar-"

"AHHH!" A few people screamed bloody murder, making both of them jump.

"Kam? KAMMM!" A girl's voice screamed, echoing deadly through the now-silent cafeteria. It was as if something was taking the very sounds of everyday life and muting it.

_'Lairs will pay the ultimate price, __**Izaya Orihara!**__' _The raven's face paled over, nearly turning him as white as paper. He couldn't move or speak, fear being too overwhelming.

"Ahh!" Some of the other students finally squealed, darting in all directions to avoid the area the first scream came from. Shizuo growled, seeing the line for the food quickly disperse.

"God-dammit, who the hell is making this mess?" He snapped, getting to his feet and angrily storming towards the area. Izaya tried to reach for him, not wanting to be left alone especially with the voice wanting revenge. He didn't even know what he did to piss something off!

"W-wait, don't leave me, please!" He begged, tears of fear gathering behind his eyes. Shizuo seemed to stop for a second, but kept walking.

"Sh-Shizuo!" Shinra's frantic voice came as he and Kadota ran up to the blonde, seeming to calm his anger down a bit. "A-a girl, she, she was just standing there one minute, then the next-" Shinra couldn't even form words anymore, flailing his arms around.

"It seemed like something ate her, or swallowed her in a black hole, I guess," Kadota honestly replied, looking shaken up as well. Usually he wasn't shaken up this easily; something had to be very wrong.

"Go back over with Izaya, I'll check up on things-" he didn't even get to finish, watching as a girl, standing in-fright, suddenly began fading. Her face contorted in complete horror and pain, letting out a ear-shattering screech. Her arm was completely gone, a flash of red remaining in the area it used to be. Her friends didn't even help her, watching dumbfounded as she completely vanished; taking those screams with her.

"What the hell?" His jaw dropped. Chaos broke out after that, everyone running to the doors, trying to open them unsuccessfully. The doors opened inwards, but in their panic, they must have forgotten.

"Go wait over by Izaya, any hints of something happening, run out the back through the kitchen," Shizuo ordered, not even wasting any time jumping on a table. "Calm down everyone, no one's going to get out if you freakin' crowd the doors!" He snapped. "Back away so we can open them, then take shelter in some of the classrooms. Shinra will call for help. Hide yourself and stay quiet." Slowly, though frantically, the students did what they were told, finally pouring out of the cafeteria.

"AHHHHH!" Another voice cried out, though closer to them this time. Shizuo quickly turned, only to notice too late as one of his male classmates disappeared in a last echoing cry.

"D-dammitttt," he growled, clenching his fists. He hated unable to help people in distress, especially his friends. Ah, guess there was no helping it this time.

"Izaya, Izaya!" Shinra's voice urgently rang, snapping him out of his thoughts. Without wasting a beat, he darted over, seeing the raven hunched over like before. "Shizuo, he won't respond!" The doctor cried, losing his composure. Usually Shinra was pretty good at keeping his composure, especially when it came to medical things like this. Then again, the blonde could see what the raven was clenching at; Shinra must've felt his past catching up to him.

Shizuo couldn't help but growl in frustration. They needed to get out of here before that thing decided to target them. Though, he had a dreading feeling that it was already after Izaya, and with the raven in the state he kept going into, how were they going to get out? There was no way he'd leave him behind, he'd rather die before that. His friends meant the world to him, especially the raven.

"Tch, move," he ordered, bending down to the the trembling boy. He hated how much he was quivering and wanted to punch something. "Hey, I gotta carry you, so don't freak out on me," he fore-warned, not wanting to be cut with a flick-blade. They really didn't need that at the moment.

Izaya could hear the blonde's soothing voice, though in a cloud of muffles, but couldn't find the strength to blush as he was lifted; being cradled like a small baby.


	3. Chapter 3

It didn't take long for him to feel a cooling sensation trickle within his being, clearing his head and soothing his burning scar. He had no idea what was wrong with him, a scar was a scar, it shouldn't hurt at all! Yet, it ached as if it were fresh and infected, until Shizuo protectively comforted him. It didn't have to be anything extreme, like a hug, any amount of interaction stopped the pain.

How was this even logical?

"I'm not getting a signal," Shinra's voice came, bringing him back into reality. It wasn't until now did he realize his small body was shriveled up against Shizuo's chest, his head burring deep against it. He could feel the blush bleaching his skin turn lobster red, feeling the strong arms tighten its grip around his small frame.

"Shhh," he gently ushered to the raven, making him look up into those mocha eyes. "We're staying quiet," he whispered, warmly smiling down at him. The raven could swear his expression was softer then he's even seen it before. It had to be his imagination.

"S-sorry," Shinra whispered back, clasping a hand over his mouth. Izaya gazed around them, noticing they were running down the first floor hallway. He didn't even remember getting out of the cafeteria, but then again, why would they stay in the place that monster was?

"Ah, it's fine, but we're probably gonna have to break a window, all the doors are sealed shut."

Breaking windows...? Sealed, shut...? What the hell did he miss?

"AHHH!" Another voice screamed from one of the classrooms behind them, making the four of them shiver. This was just too much, they couldn't believe this was happening.

"I-I don't know if I can take this anymore!" Shinra cried, slowing his pace.

"No, come on, you can't give up," Kadota snapped, grasping his fore-arm, yanking him back up to speed. The raven felt really bad for him, Shinra wasn't the most athletic between all of them. Hence the reason why he wanted to become a doctor.

_'You can't escape,'_ the eerie voice sneered, making the boy fall still in Shizuo's strong arms. _'Either way, we're trading places, even if I have to knock all your friends down!' _

"G-go away!" Izaya weakly mumbled, grasping Shizuo's shirt and digging his head deeper in Shizuo's chest. The blonde looked down at the terrified raven, scowling to himself. He didn't know what he could do to comfort him at the moment. God-dammit!

Another scream bursted out from right behind them, footsteps advancing towards them at a surprisingly fast speed. Izaya tightened his grip on the fabric underneath him, trying to force back tears of fear.

"Why is it following us dammit?" Shizuo growled, his grip tightening around the small boy. Izaya had a hunch the blonde knew this thing was after him too, which would explain the special treatment he was getting. But unlike the other times, this felt different. He didn't know how to explain it, but it just did.

The footsteps grew louder and louder to the point where Kadota tightened his grip around the doctor, flinging him forward. "Keep going guys, don't give up!" All their faces paled, turning to watch in horror as Kadota's chest turned a deep red, though transparent; he was beginning to disappear. But he kept his mouth glued shut, trying not to let his screams escape and travel to the ears of his friends.

"N-no, Kadota!" Shizuo cried, skidding to a stop. Izaya suddenly shriveled in pain again, letting out a small whimper into his chest. The blonde was frozen, not knowing what to do. He could try to save Kadota, but then he was positive the mass would take Izaya from his grip.

"Goo!" Kadota screamed, seeing the fight within his eyes. Shizuo stared at him with wide-eyes, threatening to shrink to the back of his head. He wanted to save all his friends, but he knew what he had to do, and Kadota seemed to know too. It took everything in his power to turn around and run, Shinra following right after.

"Goodbye, Kadota...," Shinra cried, tears streaming down his face in a blur. Shizuo let out a pained scowl. He couldn't believe he just left his friend there to die. There had to of been something he could've done!

His thoughts soon left him, seeing the window in-front of them. This was it. Once they got outside, they'd run for the road and cross the river towards the police station. It was rather far, but if that old legend was true, spirits couldn't cross running water.

Tucking the small boy securely in his arms, he slammed against the glass with his shoulder, shattering it on contact. The two stumbled out, nearly losing their balance as they stepped on the slippery grass.

"Wh-where should we go?" Shinra asked before gasping. The raven didn't like the sound of his shock and followed the doctor's wide gaze to see the bleeding wound bruised on the blonde.

"Y-you're hurt!" Izaya trembled, quickly wriggling out of the brute's grasp. Shizuo looked at him, rather hurt, but shrugged it off as he grasped his throbbing shoulder.

"I've had worse. - Come on, we have to keep going-" the sound of footsteps cut him off, making the three quickly turn to see a black mass of air reach out for Izaya. The raven grasped his scar again, but was too terrified to let himself express the pain this time.

_'Trade...__**now**__.'_

"Izaya!" Shinra's voice screamed, making the raven's brown-red eyes tremble as the doctor dove in-front of him.

"N-n...," he could hardly mutter, watching at his friend's arm flinched oddly, turning the same red-clear color everyone else had. He was willing to sacrifice himself... to save him? Izaya Orihara?

"Shin-Shinra?" He cried, eyes contorting in complete terror.

The doctor-in-training's eyes softened, despite the pain he was in. "I'm returning the favor," he weakly smiled, letting out a few grumbles of pain. "N-now we're even."

Izaya shook his head in completely denial. "N-no, no you never owed me anything idiot!" Tears began streaming down his frail cheeks, the emotional pain out-writing his physical. Shinra just ignored him, turning his gaze to Shizuo.

"Please, keep him safe."

"I-I will," he sniffled. "Bye, friend."

"No, no it's not goodbye! What the hell are you saying?" Izaya cried, using all his strength to tug on Shinra's arm that hadn't been trapped. But the doctor only hissed in pain, making Shizuo grip Izaya's arm and tare his grip away.

"No, no what are you doing?" He sobbed, stumbling over his own feet as Shizuo began dragging him along in attempt to escape. "No, SHINRA!"

Shinra gave one last smile, "Goodbye, Izaya..."

"SHINRAA!" He cried, reaching out towards the doctor before they were out of view. Izaya wanted to fall to his knees already and give himself up. Maybe this thing would spare his last friend if he did; he really couldn't bear losing Shizuo. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Getting you out of here, that thing apparently wants you."

"Then let it have me!" Shizuo shot him one of the most hateful glares he's ever seen the blonde give, making him shut up immediately.

"I'd never let that happen unless it was over my dead body!" Izaya's eyes widened, watching as those mocha eyes remained unchanged. Could he really care about him, after all this time of ignoring him? It seemed a bit too good to be true.

"Sh-Shizuo?" He trembled, hesitantly looking up at the blonde's determined face in confusion. "Why, why are you so nice to me all of a sudden?"

"All of a sudden? What the hell are you talking about?" He questioned rather sourly. "I've always cared about you, b-but I was afraid I might accidentally hurt you." Izaya felt his own face blush over, seeing a small blush dust upon the blonde. What was going on here? "I-I didn't know what I could say, or do, so I just, well, didn't." They hadn't even noticed their pace had slowed down a bit as they continued their heartfelt conversation. Not that it mattered anyway, they wouldn't be able to run much longer.

"You're just so fragile, and usually people like you break around me..."

"You could never hurt me-Ahh!" He screamed, feeling his arm freeze, circumferenced in a extreme weight. It hurt so badly he could hardly even remember to breath.

_'You liar, __**liar!'**_ The voice growled, sounding completely psychotic._ 'Now we'll trade, and I'll be sure you die!'_

"Izaya, I'm _**NOT**_ letting you go too!" Shizuo's voice cracked through his growl, using all his strength to yank the raven's arm free. Izaya squeaked, arm falling limp to his side as soon as it escaped. He couldn't even feel it, it hung like jello. Then again, it was better then not having him at all.

"I'm not letting you take him bastard!" Shizuo cursed, quickly picking the raven up and dashing away. But he wasn't able to run as fast as he used to. He was burned out, unable to go much further.

"Just leave me behind," Izaya cried, trying to roll out of his arms to no avail. "This is my fault in the first place!"

"What?" Shizuo questioned, only tightening his grasp around the raven. He didn't know if he'd be able to believe any words that left his mouth at the moment. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I-it's my fault. At the festival, I wished I'd just disappear since everyone seemed to forget me all the time," he sobbed, trying to push against his chest to seek freedom, but the hold around him only increased.

Why was Shizuo doing this? Why did he have to be so cruel by caring about him all of a sudden? Was it some kind of cruel prank or something?

"What the hell?" Shizuo snapped, making the boy shrivel in himself in fear. Here it came; the lecture.

"Ugghhh," Shizuo growled suddenly, falling forward. Izaya forced his eyes shut, preparing for the impact. This was it, they were finally caught. At least they didn't have to die alone.

"E-Ehhpp?" Izaya squeaked, being gently tossed to the side and rolling a few feet away.

"Run, go, run!" Shizuo weakly spoke, drawing the dazed raven's attention back to him. Shizuo was face first on the floor, though on his hands and knees trying to force his caught leg free. But the invisible red substance had crawled up his leg, making it impossible.

"N-no, Shizuo!" he cried, scrambling over to him. "I-I can't lose you too!"

"You don't have a choice, I don't have the energy to break free. Go; I'll hold it off as long as I can." The raven shook his head in complete disbelief, pupils shrinking to the back of his eyes.

"No, I'm not going to let you die because of me, everyone else already did!" He tried to pull Shizuo free, but his entire leg was already gone.

"Go before it gains the upper hand!"

Tears streamed endlessly down the raven's cheeks, not knowing what to do. After all this time, he really thought the blonde had hated him with a passion. He never spoke to him, invited him anywhere, or anything of the sort. But when he was ill or in danger, Shizuo would spring to life and protect him. How could he leave the one he had a crush on behind? Rather, to die? He'd rather die a thousand deaths then to let that happen.

Hesitantly, he gently reached his hands up, caressing the blonde's soft cheeks with his hands. Shizuo seemed a bit shocked, eyes widening at the action. He could swear a blush was barely dusting upon his skin.

"I-I don't want to lose the person that I, that I...," he gulped, pressing his forehead against Shizuo's. His heart was pounding, blood racing; he couldn't believe he was about to say this. But he wanted Shizuo to know before they both went.

"I don't want to lose the person, th-that I li-like," he blushed madly, not even being able to say 'love'. But he was happy he was at least able to get that out. Now he could die at least in peace.

"Wh-what?" Shizuo's voice cracked, making the raven open his eyes to see the mocha ones staring deeply back. He didn't seem to believe what he just said.

"I-I like you," he muttered again, slowly, though hesitantly, leaving a small peck on his cheek. The blonde's face completely blushed over as Izaya bashfully looked at the ground. "S-sorry... I've always wanted to do that..." Before he could even say anything else, he felt Shizuo's strong hands cuffing his cheeks, pressing his lips to his forehead. The raven didn't understand what just happened and nearly pouted as Shizuo retracted from him.

"I-" Shizuo was cut off, feeling the mass crawl up his chest and creeping up his shoulders. Izaya sorrowfully stared down at the brute's small smile. "Go."

"Shizuo..." he whispered, watching as his body completely disappeared. **"SHIZUOOO!" **Tears flooded down his cheeks like two waterfalls, glistening ever so softly in the moonlight. He couldn't believe Shizuo was gone. After all this time, he kept his true feelings for the blonde hidden, believing nothing would come from it. Yet, that last look on Shizuo's face told him otherwise.

Damiitttt. Now he was gone, and it was all his fault!

No, for once, this was the fault of a certain demon he wanted to shred to pieces. Shizuo, Shinra, Kadota; all of them. They were all gone, ripped from his world and into another. He truly didn't know what he was going to do anymore.

_'Now, are you ready to-'_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Izaya snapped, struggling to his feet, tears covering his face. The mass seemed to be watching him with much curiosity, but he didn't care. "All my friends, and even some other kids? What the hell are you?"

_'My my, little harsh Izaya, especially for someone who granted your wish.'_

"This wasn't what I meant!" He cried, quickly pulling his flick-blade out faster then the mass could even anticipate. "You KILLED people, you KILLED ALL MY FRIENDS!" His voice cracked and tore, nearly sending him to his knees. But he remained strong with the soul-intent of revenge.

_'On the contrary, you're the one that deserves death for lying,'_ it growled, seeming to be really annoyed._ 'You should never lie when you don't know how it feels. - Besides, they're not dead, they're just invisible and unconscious.'_

"In-invisible?" Izaya's voice trembled, but quickly gripped the knife even tighter. He didn't care what this thing wanted, all he cared about was revenge.

"This, this is for everyone!" he cried, bringing the knife to his side and thrusting it forward with all his might. The mass wasn't even able to move out of the way, being pierced.

"AGGHHHhhhhh," it howled, seeming to shrivel up slightly. Izaya panted from where he stood, those tears still flowing down his cheeks in endless rivers. He really didn't know what he was going to do without his friends. He found it even more unbearable then before.

"Wh-what have you done?" It screeched. The raven just looked up at it with a death glare, wishing nothing then to see it burn and reduced to nothing but ashes to fly away in the wind. But as he continued his death glare, he could see it was slowly beginning to take shape, as if it was mirroring him.

_'Wh-what...?'_ He questioned, squinting his eyes in-attempt to get a better look.

_'We're trading, remember?'_ Izaya couldn't even move as the shadow flew through the air and plummeted inside his left eye, taking its sweet time slithering in the socket.

"AHHHHHHHHHH," Izaya screeched, clenching it in searing pain, falling to his knees. It was taking everything he had not to claw at his eye, the burning and itching too severe to handle. But he didn't have to worry about that for long, feeling something stab his brain, unconsciousness taking him instantly.


	4. Chapter 4

Shizuo didn't know how much time had passed since the last time his eyes closed, but his sore limbs informed him more then three hours. Not like it mattered to a dead person, time meant nothing to them. Yet, even as he told himself this, he couldn't help but get this egging feeling that he wasn't dead. It was utterly ridiculous, that thing grabbed a hold of him.

_'Wait, Izaya!_' His thoughts raced, quickly snapping his eyes open. They were greeted by the street lights and dark veil of night, the small edges of grass blocking some of his view. This didn't seem like hell, and certainly not heaven. But, where could he be then?

_'Maybe, maybe I'm not dead,' _he wondered, slowly controlling his limbs and sitting up. His body ached in protest, but it's not like he ever listened to it anyway.

Surveying his surroundings, his eyes froze, seeing the motionless raven laying in the grass a considerable distance away. A few inches away from him was his flick-blade, covered in what seemed to be a darker gray then usual. Did he kill that thing? Was the feat even possible?

"Izaya?" He quietly spoke, stumbling to his feet. His knees felt like they could give out at any moment, his head making weird shapes dance in-front of his eyes. But he was more concerned about the raven, the small boy that had a crush on him. To be all honest, his feelings for him were conflicted, not knowing how to respond to the honest confession. A part of him wanted to be a complete jerk to him and tell him off, but the other wanted to confess something his heart wanted to say.

Ahh, feelingssss.

Slowly, he made his way over to Izaya, taking note of the paleness he now possessed. It wasn't natural, that's for sure. Then again, the small boy was never the healthiest one, being so fragile wind could make him come crumpling down. "Hey, hey Izaya, are you okay?" Shizuo asked, gently shaking the small shoulder. "I think that thing's gone."

Izaya slowly felt himself gain some consciousness, though his head felt extremely light. It was more like his entire body lost tremendous weight, which didn't make any sense. What had that thing done to his body anyway?

"Izaya, Izaya!" Shizuo's voice faintly rang, as if they were surrounded in a room full of metal. Shizuo, was alive? But, but how could that even be?

Quickly, he snapped his eyes open, staring hazily at the blades of grass. He must've fallen unconscious or something, but that still didn't explain how Shizuo was alive. No, on second thought, he didn't care what the reason was, he was just beyond relieved.

"Shi-Shizuo...," he muttered, weakly turning his head with a small smile. He couldn't wait to feel the blonde's strong arms around him again. Maybe then he could accept this wasn't fake, and reality was still living.

His thoughts froze, along with his heart. Shizuo's back was turned to him, leaning the opposite direction. Wasn't he just calling for him...?

"Come on flea, you have to wake up!"

Fl-flea? Shizuo hadn't called him that name in so long; hearing him speak it made his heart flutter. But why was his back turned to him?

"Shizuo, Shizu-chan!" He cried, daring to do what he swore not to do again. When he first came up with the nickname, Shizuo slammed him against the lockers in utter fury. But he was willing to see if it gained his attention.

"Izaya?" His voice was softer this time, leaning down even more. Izaya raised a questioning eyebrow, not knowing what to think of the situation. Had Shizuo finally lost his marbles? Or, was it really all just an act, and he pretended he was invisible?

God-dammit, why did he have to put all his trust in him?

"Ughhh," a small voice muttered, snapping he raven out of his fuming thoughts. That wasn't Shizuo's voice, it sounded like his. But how could that be? No one could mimic his voice with such precision.

"That's it, keep at it," Shizuo sighed, pressing his forehead against pale skin. Izaya could feel his face pale over, turning whiter then paper. In front of Shizuo, slowly becoming conscious, was him. His body, his raven hair, his pale skin. Was this some nightmare?

"Wh-what's going on here?" Izaya squeaked, scrambling to his feet. It was him alright, there was no mistaking it. But it just didn't make any sense!

"Ughhhh," the imposter moaned again, making the blonde pull his head back and place a hand on the frail cheek. Izaya felt his entire body beginning to tremble, stumbling forward with a outstretched hand.

"N-no... Shizuo... that's not, me."

"It's alright, that thing's gone, I'm here," Shizuo soothed, rubbing his thump across the cheek. The raven felt something sting his heart, grasping his chest in utter pain. Why was this happening? Why was he being forced to see this? He thought Shizuo wasn't going to ignore him anymore, he even admitted to why he had done it in the first place!

"That's... not me..."

Slowly, those closed eye-lids opened, making the blonde gasp sharply. It sounded so terrified the raven had to look up, eyes widening as well.

"Yo-your eye," Shizuo gulped, staring into the blue iris surrounded by a dark-river instead of white. His right eye was the same, completely unchanged, but his left seemed to have been inverted. How was this even...

A small smirk enveloped the imposter's face, shakingly moving his hands to show himself they were useable. "I'm alive," the imposter spoke, laughing a bit. "I'M ALIVE!"

Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow, running his hand through his hair. "Yeah, you dammed-right scared me!" He snapped. The imposter turned his attention to the blonde, a blank expression written across his face. He didn't seem to know how to respond to him, which confused the brute greatly.

"Are you hurting, anywhere?" He asked, letting his hand slowly leave the soft hair.

Izaya tilted his head a bit at the action, but really didn't think much of it. He was no longer visible... Huh, guess he finally got what he wished for.

Slowly, the imposter moved around, seeming to remember how to move with ease. What frightened Izaya was he could swear the imposter was looking right at him half the time, that smirk never wavering. Not that it mattered, he just wanted to die at this point.

"We better get you to the hospital, that eye doesn't look so good."

"E-eye?" He asked, quickly reaching up, nearly touching it directly. Shizuo quickly grabbed the wrist before he could even do so, hissing.

"What they hell idiot! Don't touch your eye!" The imposter immediately tried to yank the strong arm away, whimpering a bit as he was unable to. It sounded really pathetic, actually.

"Jeezz, settle down," Shizuo grumbled, grabbing Izaya's other arm before it could try striking at him. He seemed, different. He had no idea what happened to him after falling unconscious, but he could tell it wasn't good.

"It's not me, Shizu-chan, Shizu-channn," Izaya cried, falling to his knees. There was no use in this anymore. He just wanted to die. There was no use in living if no one saw him at all; if someone else was destined to take his place.

"Sorry that I wasted everyone's time...," he sighed, feeling himself fall unconscious, not even bothering to do something in order to avoid his body from slamming into the ground.

It seemed only moments later when Izaya felt himself come too, which was odd. He just fell unconscious, he shouldn't have made such a fast recovery like this. Slowly, he allowed his red-rimmed eyes to open. It was no longer night. The sun had risen and skid across the sky. It had to be at least eleven thirty or twelve. But that didn't make sense!

"Ready, go!" He heard someone announce rather near by. It was a older voice, seemed to be in their thirties. Maybe someone had finally came to help.

Scrambling to his feet, he gasped, stumbling back a bit. There were people playing in the field, from the looks of it, baseball. But through his left eye, they looked pale and rather blue, as if they were all dumped in food coloring. The sky was pale as well, the ground seeming to be a tint of red with rocks and other lost artifacts a lighter shade.

"Wh-what's going on?" He gulped, stumbling back and falling on his butt. He then wasted no time reaching up and covering his left eye. Everyone looked the same, as if it were just another normal day. Maybe he was just imagining things, he did after all just wake up from being out all night running away from a monster spirit.

Sliding his hand away, he gasped, scouting his small body against a pole behind him. Everything looked disoriented again, but this time, small figures moved about. One was a girl wearing a long white nightgown, her long hair trailing behind her as she playing with a small teddy bear. There was a man, about the same age as Shizuo, yelling at the person at base, getting ready to hit the ball. The more he stared at these two people, the more real they looked. Their paleness began waring off, until they actually looked like they were there.

"What... what the hell is going on?" He cried, pulling at his hair with pupils shrinking to the back of his eyes. His breathing was uneven as he pulled his knees against his chest. If he could, he would've went into the feeble position, but he wasn't able to. The fear and confusion was too great.

"Out of bounds!" The referee declared, pulling the raven's attention up to see the ball roll up to him.

"I'll get it!" One of the young boys sighed, jogging up to it. He looked about his age, though skin a chocolate color.

"I could've thrown the ball back for you," Izaya smiled slightly. The boy seemed to slow his pace for a moment as he reached the ball, looking around as if he thought something bad was going to happen. "What's wrong? I'm not gonna hurt you." The kid took a step back, eyes urgently darting back and forth in horror. Quickly, he shot his arm down to grab the ball to take it back to the others, but Izaya wasn't going to let him. Just as quick, he grasped the boy's arm, tugging on it.

"Stop ignoring me, please!" He begged. "My eye, I'm injured!" The boy let out a piercing screech, trying to pull his arm free as if his touch was poison. Without thinking, Izaya let his grip go, watching the boy stumble back before running off.

"Something touched me! Something had me!" He cried, running to one of the other players and burying their face in the shoulder. Everyone looked at each other with unease, staring over at Izaya with trembling eyes.

What? What did he do? He just needed help! And how dare that boy say that he was 'something' instead of using 'he'. It made him feel like trash that way. What was he, invisible to everyone here?

"It's okay, it was probably that ghost," one of the kids responded, trying to sound positive. "Lets go get changed; we don't want to make it mad."

Ghost...? But he was alive!

Or was he? He remembered seeing his body move, back at the other field, but he wasn't in it. It seemed like something else had stepped into his body and forced him out.

_'Trade?'_ The question flooded back to him, making his face pale over. Of course, why didn't he think about that in the first place? That thing was after him, wanting to trade places. It wanted to grant Izaya's wish, by making him disappear. But to do that, and get its own way, was to take his body.

But what did that say about him? Was he... dead? He could be wondering around on the plains of hell or even heaven for all he knew. Considering he wasn't burning or people accepted him, it was none of those options.

_'But I can see others... who must be dead,'_ he gulped, looking back at the small little girl who gave him a small wave. Maybe she knew what was going on, after all, she could've been one of that things friends.

Slowly, though eagerly, he stumbled over to the girl, focusing on her with his left eye. It seemed like his right eye couldn't see her at all. Could his eye be the same as his body's?

"Hi stranger, your eyes are pretty strange," she giggled, fiddling with her teddy bear. Izaya just gave a small smile, bending down to her on one knee.

"Do you know where we are?" He asked.

The girl gave him a weird look. "We're at Rajin High School of course," she said rather snottingly. It's not like he'd know, it looked so different.

"No we aren't, I go there, and I've never seen it look like this before."

The little girl just shrugged. "I follow my big sister here everyday, I should know this place's name by now."

Izaya frowned, eyes softening a bit. That had to mean that she really was dead. Poor girl, she shouldn't have died at such a young age. "Oh... how old are you?"

The girl just stared at him, tilting her head a bit. "You're not Misaki's friend, are you? - You seem nicer then him." The raven couldn't help but raise a questioning eye brow at her.

"Misaki?"

"The boy who killed himself," the little girl pouted, looking at her teddy bear with sad eyes. He could tell she didn't want to know about the boy's death, but knew anyway. It broke his heart. "People treated him just like you."

"Just like me?" He wondered.

"Like you were invisible." The raven's brown-red eyes shrunk, staring wide-eyed at the little girl. Now that he thought about it, the voice that wanted him earlier didn't seem all the violent at first. It wanted to take him away without much harm. But since Shizuo and the others saved him, they pissed him off.

Well, it seemed even angrier when it learned he really wasn't alone, though he truly thought he was.

"Am, am I dead...?" Izaya shivered, pulling at his hair again. He didn't know what he'd do if he figured out he was dead. He wasn't with his friends, there was no one waiting here for him.

"I don't think so," the little girl proudly exclaimed, pointing at his messed-up eye. "Looks like you're being brushed by it though."

"Br-brushed?" The little girl nodded, gently reaching up and taking his hands in hers. The contact felt extremely cold, as if ice had been poured on his fingers, but he didn't dare flinch.

"You're still warm. You're not the first one though, so it's okay!" She giggled, drawing her attention back to the small teddy bear she possessed. Izaya felt bad for troubling the girl, but it was killing him.

"What do you mean? I-I'm not the only one you've seen?"

"Nope, a lot of people get lost. You'll be found, don't worry!" She giggled, standing up and giving him a small hug. The raven didn't know what he could do except for hug back, completely confused. So, he was dead? Just not dead? How could he find his way back if he was lost?

The school bell rang, making the little girl flinch."Oh, school's out! I better get going and follow my sister home. - Goodbye new lostie!" Izaya could only gasp as she faded away in his arms, staring down at the now empty space below him. A part of him wanted to believe all of that was part of a bad dream, but a part of him just couldn't dismiss it. If it was true, then that meant Shizuo hadn't been ignoring him, he just, couldn't hear him. Shizuo could never be that cruel.

But that also meant he, along with all his other friends, were in danger. They'd think that imposter, apparently named Misaki, was him. He could never live with himself if this Misaki person did something bad to them.

Slowly, he got to his feet and took a tour around campus. It was the only thing he could do, since his friends were no where in sight. The school looked really different, as if it was remodeled in a older image. The desks were older, chalkboards were in every room instead of white boards and smart boards. Was it 'blast from the past' week or something?

As he continued his self-tour, he noticed that no one left on campus seemed to notice him. Not even if he held their hand or tried to tickle them. Most ended up running and screaming away. It wasn't until then did he remember how truly alone he felt; and this time, he really was alone.

Standing in the grass field where he was knocked unconscious, he looked up at the now cloudy sky with those red-rimmed eyes, tears slowly going down them.

"Where is everyone...?"


	5. Chapter 5

Shizuo waited impatiently out in the hall, twiddling his thumps. He would've been pounding walls down if Kadota hadn't stopped him. Even though he felt nervous as well, he reminded the blonde causing mayhem would only further prolong the results of the unconscious raven.

After waking up, the raven was able to stand up, with the help of Shizuo, before falling unconscious. It seemed to put too much strain on him, which worried the brute greatly. He never had a problem walking before.

What had that thing done to him...? There was still the manner of his eye, but Shinra had reported nothing wrong. It still functioned perfectly, but it was odd. Apparently, there was no heat around it, as if it was dead. But Izaya made it clear that he could see perfectly through it. None of this made any god-dammed sense!

The door snapped him out of his thoughts, seeing Shinra walk out with a frown. He didn't look very pleased, and his eyes were drooping in exhaustion. "I need to talk to you guys," he grimly spoke, quietly closing the door and walking up to them with a folder. Shizuo and Kadota looked at each other with dreading looks.

"Something's definitely different about Izaya. Quite frankly, my father and I have never seen anything quite like it."

"Is he okay, at least?" Shizuo asked. He wouldn't be able to pay attention unless he knew that adorable boy was at least resting peacefully.

"Well, in a sense yes. Celty's watching him in case he has an episode."

"Episode?" Kadota repeated in the form of a question. Shinra sighed, opening the folder.

"He seems to be functioning weirdly. Here are the scans of his brain activity from when he was stabbed in elementary school. Little old, but they're the only scans we could find." Shizuo and Kadota stared at it, seeing the brain mass evenly divided up in different parts of the brain. There was only one cluster that seemed to swirl together.

"What's that?" The blonde asked, pointing at the clustered part. Shinra's face seemed to contort in utter sadness.

"That's the fear clustering together... mind you, this was right after being stabbed." The two boys could clearly hear the doctor's voice crack, so they didn't press any further.

Shinra seemed to notice this, turning to the next set of x-rays. "This is as of now." The two boy's eyes widened in completely shock, seeing the waves trying to flow to the center of the brain. There was hardly any but a few strands on the right side. "See how there's hardly any on the right side? That's bad. Brain activity is supposed to flow evenly. In theory, this could somewhat explain why his eye is strange."

"Is this, going to hurt him?" Shizuo asked, clenching his pant leg. He hated knowing the small raven was in pain, and possibly even agony. Those words still rang through his head in a endless loop, _'I-I like you...'_

Shinra seemed to notice his worry, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Heyy, calm down, he's not going to die. We'll figure this out, 'kay?"

Shizuo looked up at him with trembling eyes. "Y-you mean he could die?"

"E-eh," the doctor trembled, slowly removing his hand from the monster's shoulder. "Er-ermm, well, it's just a guess. His brain activity shift is going to cause a lot of repercussions. One is blindness, the other constant fainting."

"So you're saying he can fall unconscious at any second? Even if he's just sitting?"

Shinra nodded, closing the folder. "We're gonna have to pay extra attention to him... But, there's one thing that bugs me..." Shizuo and Kadota gave him a questioning look, encouraging him to keep going. "From Celty's perspective... she thinks he may be fighting to stay."

The door to Izaya's room suddenly opened, revealing Celty waving for them. The sound of screaming and yelling came to their ears, making Shizuo sprint to the door faster then the other two could react. There he saw Izaya struggling against Celty's black mass that held him down, tears of fear streaming down his face.

_'He wouldn't listen to me and tried getting up, I had to,'_ Celty wrote on her phone. Shizuo nodded in understanding, going over to his side. Izaya didn't seem to react to his presence, only glaring at him.

"Make this thing let go of me! I can't bring him back, I can't!" He cried, struggling more. The blonde's face contorted in hurt, not liking how he thought Celty wanted to bring that monster back. He really must've been confused. Didn't he remember Celty?

"Hey, calm down would yeah? She's not gonna hurt you. She's our friend, remember?" Izaya struggled a bit more before slowly going still, never letting his gaze leave Shizuo's. He still seemed to think everything was foreign to him.

"S-sorry, my memory must be screwed up." Shizuo was shocked by the use of that word, but just smiled. Being through what he went through gave him a reason to cuss.

"Nah, it's fine. How you feeling though?"

"Drained, and it sucks. It shouldn't take me this long to get used to being here," he sighed, quickly looking around. The blonde opened his mouth to say something, but just kept it closed. He had to remember Izaya was pretty messed up right now.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure nothing messes with you again..."

After searching for his friends at their old hang-out spots, he decided to just try again at school the next day. All their houses were a considerable distance away, and going to each to see who could see him would take too much time. He could stand being invisible for one more night, at least. It was only a few hours, right? He could handle that.

Now he just had to get home. Maybe then he could get some rest.

Walking down his street, he noted all the strange houses. He's lived in this neighborhood his whole life, and never before had he seen any of these decorations, cars, or people. It was late at night, but some people were out talking to their lovers or walking their dogs. Old cars were parked in the driveways and streets, making him think it was the eighties. He was beginning to wonder if he was even in his world at all.

Coming up to his house, it looked nothing like his own. There was no car in the driveway, but pink flamingo's stood awake in the rocks. Where his tire-swing used to be stood a sign stating 'no trespassing'.

_'What's going on?' _He wondered, going up to one of the windows. There were blinds, but they weren't pulled back yet. Guess this person liked to let in the cold air, if it wasn't his mother. Gazing in, he could make out a rather plump man sitting on a lone couch in the living room, going though channels on the TV. Nothing seemed to interest him, as he flipped through the channels and pigged-out on potato chips. He wasn't anyone he knew, which made his panic grow.

"What did I get myself into?" His voice cracked, stumbling back. If his mother and sisters weren't here, where could they have moved? A newspaper caught his eye on the ground, skimming the words.

_'Good-morning, November twenty-eight of nineteen eighty six!'_ All the color drained from his face as his knees gave out. There was no possible way it was nineteen eighty six. No. Way.

"What is this...," he cried, bending backwards, leaning against his shaking arms. "Is this, a cruel joke?" Tears cascaded down his eyes, staring up at the sky above him. The stars seemed to twinkle down at him, the moon slowly being covered by clouds. There mustn't be any light for him.

_'Shi-Shizu-chan... Shinra... Kadota...,' _he whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself. His slender body wouldn't stop trembling, no matter what he did. The more trembles, the more tears. So many thoughts all at once began taking its toll, watching with a unwavering expression as his world blackened on him.

It wasn't long for a new scene to appear before him, much to his displeasure. He wished nothing more then to be able to sleep without any dreams, but the world was just too cruel.

"Woah, be careful, you're gonna hurt yourself!" Shizuo's voice drifted to his ears, making his heart race. He hadn't heard from that voice in so long, he nearly forgot how much it lifted his spirits. Turning, he came face to face with the blonde, trailing closely behind his body. This had to be a nightmare, but the more he thought about it, the more real it seemed. Maybe, since he was stuck, he only found his was through dreams, seeing what was happening in his world when he slept, and when he was awake, he saw what happened in Misaki's time. The dots seemed to connect correctly enough, but the question was, why?

"I can do this-epp!" Misaki cried, his legs giving out on him. The blonde wasted no time diving forward, catching the falling raven before he hit the floor. Izaya felt his face boil over in both embarrassment and jealousy, pulling his arms to his chest. Even though it was his body being held by Shizuo's warm arms, he felt hurt. He wasn't able to feel his warmth and the reassurance that he was still living. He wanted to be in Shizuo's arms, where nothing could take him.

"See, you should listen to me," Shizuo scoffed, wrapping the fragile arm over his shoulder. Misaki rolled his eyes, glancing his way before his eyes widened. He seemed to go ghostly pale, clinging to the blonde even more then before.

Did he see him? It would explain his reaction. But why could only he see him? Unless it had something to do with that eye...

"You alright?" Shizuo asked, a soft look now apparent on his face. When he first got there, Shizuo looked absolutely drained with stress. How and why would he go from that to instant peace?

"Y-yeah, now that you have me," he sniffled, cuddling up against his chest. Izaya felt his heart get stabbed by an invisible force, reaching out to them.

"Stop, no, Shizuo that's not me!" He cried, tears flowing down his eyes yet again. Misaki just smirked at this, rubbing his head against his chest with a fake-exhausted expression.

"You're so warm, Shizuo." Izaya's pupil's shrank to the back of his head, breaking out in a run towards the two. That smile never seemed to leave Misaki's face, pissing Izaya off. But it wasn't like he could do anything.

"Shizuo, that's not me! You have to listen!" Shizuo's face seemed to lose it's strong composure, looking down at Misaki with a blank yet confused expression. Had he heard him?

"Are you feeling faint?" He asked, gently brushing the back of his hand on his cheek. Izaya's voice caught in his throat, legs stopping in their tracks instantly. Misaki smirked even wider before leaning into his touch.

"Y-yeah... Sorry, to be a burden on you."

"Tch, never call yourself that," Shizuo snapped, gently picking Misaki up as if he was cradling a small baby. "I'll get you to the nurse's office."

"Thanks, Shizuo..."

Izaya felt his knees give out once more, but didn't even bother keeping his balance and slammed into the ground all at once. He wanted to just take up his flick-blade and stab it straight through his heart; maybe then he wouldn't feel the tare. But he didn't have his flick-blade on him, only the cloths he had before. All he could do to rid himself of the agony was through tears, but his throat was already sore and eyes burned.

Slowly, he allowed himself to be taken by unconsciousness, staring blankly as Shizuo and Misaki disappeared in the school...


	6. Chapter 6

Shizuo didn't know how many days had passed since the whole disappearing incident occurred at the school. With the new stress and constant watch over the raven, it felt like months. He hated to admit it, but it felt more like a chore then anything. And he was beginning to hate it. The raven would go through mood-swings like no other, going from hating to liking him. It was driving his feelings insane. He was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to get their old Izaya back.

"Shizuo will do anything for me, right Shizuo?" The raven's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making the blonde turn his attention Misaki as he conversed with other classmates. Shizuo didn't care for them, they were the people who needed drama in their lives unless they weren't anything. Ahh, those were the people the blonde wanted to beat.

"No, I won't actually," he corrected, feeling his anger spring slightly. "Maybe if you weren't so dammed needy all the time you could actually pay attention to your old friends!" He snapped, trying his best to suppress his anger. This was really beginning to worry him. He'd never had a hard time keeping his cool around Izaya, even if the raven did something he thought was completely stupid. But this, this was going over the edge! He could hardly stand being next to him anymore.

"Aw, that hurts my feelings Shizuo," he lied. Shizuo scowled, looking the other way with hopes of him dropping it. Unfortunately for him, the raven never ended it there. "You couldn't possibly want to hurt my feelings when I'm already hurt, right? Having metal, physical, and emotional pain could do some terrible things to a person." The blonde tried to resist the temptation to look over at the raven, but hearing the girls' gasp made him zip his head around.

"WHAT THE HELL IZAYA?" He roared, slapping the knife that was pressed against his neck away. Misaki didn't seem to be all that hurt or surprised, smirking at the action.

"See? You can't bear seeing me in da-" he was stopped in mid-sentence as he fell forward. The brute quickly sprang from his chair and caught the raven before he slammed his head into the ground. Ahh, he had an episode again; great.

The girls stared at the two with trembling eyes, too terrified to actually move or say anything.

"It's fine, he's being studied right now," he muttered, carefully picking him up like usual and making his way to the nurse's office. It didn't' matter how mad he seemed to get at Izaya, when he fainted like this, all of that anger disappeared. He really didn't want his beloved Izaya to go. He wanted him to get better so he could tell him something.

If he ever got better, at least.

_'What's really wrong with you...?'_

The warm wind blew through Izaya's face, swaying through Izaya's hair and brushing against his pale skin. The grass beneath him danced in the wind, listening to the tune of everyday life; the life he was missing out on. He didn't dare fall asleep, as tempting as that sounded. Going without sleep for seventy-two hours really began taking a toll on him. He was surprised he hadn't thrown himself off a building yet; no one would stop him, they couldn't see him.

The sound of a child's giggle snapped him out of his thoughts, gazing up to see a small child with raven hair, much like his own, running around in the field below him. He was giggling about something, enjoying that breeze as it swept through his hair.

"I'm going to catch you!" Another voice exclaimed, though sounding a lot deeper. It wasn't until then did he notice the slightly taller boy with dark-brown hair pursuing the raven. His eyes seemed to be throwing daggers, but that smile assured Izaya that he was having a good time. It reminded him of home. How back when he was young, he'd play tag with Shinra just to see how determined he'd get. How he used to read and study along side the boy that wanted to become a doctor, and even sleep together in tents when camping trips rolled around. He missed the days where he was allowed back into high school, and how the blonde he liked more then natural protected him against everything.

_'You're just so fragile, and usually people like you break around me...' _his haunting words echoed, making him pull his knees even tighter against his body.

"I just want to go home," Izaya sniffled, burring his head into his knees. He wanted to know what Shizuo was going to say before Misaki had captured him. His face looked so sincere and troubled, he wished he could rewind back to that time and listen to those words left unspoken.

"I want to live again," he sniffled, allowing tears to gently roll down his cheeks. He couldn't allow too many to flow. It would only make his throbbing migraine even worse. Sleep would no doubt help rid him of some pain, but he didn't dare let those eye-lids fall close again; he was afraid of what he might see this time. Seeing Shizuo happy with him, yet another person hurt like hell, but did he really have the right to take that happiness away from him? He seemed pretty content.

Ah, how much more could his fragile heart take...? Slowly, and rather unwillingly, he felt his body slowly hit the ground, sleep consuming him...

The first thing he was aware of was the sound of rain beating against the ground. They hadn't seen rain in a while, actually, so he was happy they were finally getting it. But then he heard that voice; his voice.

"Nee, Shizuo, what's with the sad face?" Misaki's voice asked, making the raven want to just wake up already. But hearing that Shizuo sounded sad made the raven's eyes open, staring at a downcast blonde that indeed, looked miserable. His eyes were covered in dark circles, as if he hadn't slept in a while, and his cloths look unruly, as if he didn't care enough to straighten them out. A scowl that could be mistakenly made from someone killing a kitten was drawn upon his dry-cracked lips, making the raven wish he could run up to him and make him smile.

"Just... a lot on my mind," he sighed, continuing to walk forward. Misaki frowned, not even seeming to notice his presence as he quickly caught up with him. There was this look in his eyes that told him he was planning something, something he'd probably hate.

Misaki moved his hand, gripping Shizuo's as they walked. The blonde seemed to flinch at the action, making Izaya quiver. He'd always wanted to do that... just imagining his small hand in his made him shiver. This wasn't fair; he wanted his life back!

Quickly, he ran over to Shizuo's other side, making Misaki's eyes widen as Izaya hesitantly slid his own-real hand in the other hand. Instantly Shizuo's eyes widened, glancing off to his side, but saw nothing there. The raven couldn't help but give a small smile, seeing his trembling-glossy eyes staring unknowingly into his.

"Please, I know you hate me, which is why you punished me in the first place, but please, please make Shizuo smile!" Izaya begged, tears streaming out of his eyes as he locked eye-contact with Misaki. The boy seemed to throw him a glare before features lightening up. Not even he could stand seeing the blonde in such a terrible state.

"Just this once," he quietly whispered, swerving in-front of the blonde, a gentle smile on his face. "Smile Shizuo!" He giggled lightly, taking his other hand, making Izaya's phase right through the blonde's. Shizuo seemed to look back for a moment before twisted in circles.

"Wh-what are you doing?" He asked, rather irritated with him. He liked the feeling he had a moment ago, but it seemed to just vanish.

"Dancing, dance with me Shizuo!" Izaya could see the dread on his face, knowing this couldn't end well. He needed to smile, have a good time; what could he do?

Without much thinking, he wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, leaning his head against his back. Shizuo gasped at the contact, eyes watering. He didn't know why his touch would make him cry, he thought it would help...

With a sigh, he unwrapped his arms from his waist, watching as Misaki lead Shizuo's arms on his waist before throwing his arms around his neck. He had to admit, the two bodies seemed to fit perfectly together, making him blush over madly. It seemed as if they were made for each-other.

He watched as the two continued to dance in the rain, and the blonde seemed to be enjoying it. There wasn't as much darkness on his features like before, his smile seemed genuine. Unfortunately, time flew, and they had to break apart after about an hour. Izaya really wished he had his life back, but didn't let the knife from seeing this pierce his heart just yet.

"I-I better go... see you later?" He said in a form of a question before trotting off. Misaki watched him leave, face completely emotionless. Not like Izaya cared, he knew the boy enjoyed the torment he was giving.

"You should make sure he makes it home," Misaki said, making the raven jump slightly. Was he really addressing him? "I don't know if he's going to break down or not. - I don't want to lose my body-guard." Without responding, Izaya took off. He didn't want to talk to him, not knowing what would come out of his mouth. So he just ran. Why'd Shizuo have to be so tall? It was so hard to catch up to him.

It was about another mile before he finally saw the blonde slowly walking along buildings. He looked as if he lost his drive to hurry home, which made the raven worry even more. He couldn't even tell if the water streaming down his face from the rain or tears.

Slowly, he came up beside him, trying his best to catch his breath. He wasn't the most athletic, but was more then Shinra. But he'd do anything for Shizuo.

"Why do you have to move so fast?" He sighed to himself, hesitantly gripping Shizuo's hand again. The brute instantly turned to him with wide-eyes, staring down at him with the saddest face he's ever seen the brute have. It nearly made Izaya want to cuddle him, more then he already wanted to.

"Wh-who are you...?" Shizuo's voice came so low the raven almost didn't hear him. Izaya didn't believe his ears. Did he really feel him? "Do I, know you?" The raven didn't know how to respond, or what to do. It's not like he could hear him, but he really wanted to let him know what was going on.

Slowly, he reached his hand up, cuffing his cheek with some difficultly. It made Shizuo freeze completely, staring off in shock. Izaya quickly retracted his hand, dropping it to his side with a bright blush washing upon his cheeks. Maybe he shouldn't have done that, but it was the only thing he could think of doing. Glancing up, he could see tears streaming down his face now, gently touching the cheek with his other hand. He seemed lost for words, and lost in thought. Had he possibly gotten through to him?

"I-it, it can't be," he cried, continuing his pace towards an apartment complex. He shakily took his keys out, stumbling into his vacant apartment and falling on the couch. He didn't even seem bothered by the fact that he was soaked wet, he just looked so lost.

Gently, Izaya leaned down, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. Shizuo's mouth widened, more tears streaming down his cheeks before passing out. Izaya felt really bad, not knowing if what just happened was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, Shizuo made it back to his apartment, that was a achievement.

"I miss you, so much Shizuo," he cried, pressing his forehead against his. He could feel Shizuo's body heat against his form, making him wish he could be encased in his arms. But that couldn't happen. "It's so lonely, where I go," he sniffled. "Sometimes, sometimes I think of bad things... but I end up being too much of a coward to do them." Shizuo shifted in his sleep, making Izaya move his head away. "I'd rather be anywhere but there, I-I don't want to be so lonely anymore! I-I need you Shizu-chan, I need you so much!" He cried, burring his head in Shizuo's chest, trying to grasp the shirt. The blonde made a slight groan as he clenched his stomach.

"I-Izaya...," he muttered in his sleep painfully, arms trembling. The raven's eyes shimmered with tears welling in his eyes at the reaction before smiling. He must've been worried about him the whole time, it would explain a lot.

Gently, he kissed his forehead before getting up. He hated to leave his blonde, but he wanted to see how Shinra and Kadota were doing. If Shizuo was in this state, he could only imagine them.

"Bye, Shizu-chan," he weakly smiled. "Hopefully we'll see each other again." And with that, he ran off.

It didn't take him long to get to Shinra's. He didn't know how to explain it, but when he had a specific place he wanted to go, it seemed like everything moved around him faster.

Walking down the halls, he silently phased through Shinra's door. There he saw the doctor passed out on his desk, papers underneath him and pencil still in his hand. Izaya couldn't help but smile at the sight. Typical Shinra, always falling asleep while working.

Gently, he ran his fingers in his hair, making the doctor stir slightly, but not enough to wake him. He was definitely not in the same state Shizuo was in, but he could see the fatigue and stress lingering on his face.

"I miss you, Shinra," he nearly chocked on his words, seeing a old photo laid put on his desk from elementary school. They were both on a camping trip, and it seemed that's when Izaya fell in that muddy lake. Shinra was covered in mud too, as he had to save the drowning boy. Ahhh, he missed those days.

"I wish we could get our days back...," he cried before running out. He couldn't take it, it was just too much. Trying to keep a strong-front was just too much. He missed everyone so freakin much. He missed those days were they used to laugh and smile.

Izaya stopped suddenly, seeing Celty standing in the hallway, seeming to be staring right at him. Izaya tilted his head, wondering what was wrong with her. Before he could even start running, she pulled her phone out.

_'Izaya? What are you doing here?_' The raven's thoughts froze, face paling over tremendously. He didn't know what to say. Celty could see him...?

"Y-you can see me?" His voice cracked. Celty nodded, as if the question was completely obvious.

_'What are you doing here? Come to harass me and Shinra again?'_

"Ce-Celty!" He cried, wrapping his arms around her, burring his head in her chest. He found that he could actually touch her without phasing through her; was that even possible? "I've missed you so much. God, I miss being able to talk to someone," he sniffled before quickly pulling away. He forgot, he's never hugged her before. He may have just completely disrespected her. The one and only person that had been able to see him throughout this entire ordeal, was now probably grossed out by the fact he touched her.

"S-sorry, I-I should've," he trailed off, blushing in utter embarrassment. He couldn't believe he just went and did that. "Sorryy," he cried, burring his face with his hands. "I-I'll just, ahh." Before Celty could type anything, he ran off, phasing through the wall. He didn't care where he went as long as he got away. He didn't know if Celty would ever act the same around him again, he just wanted a hug.

_'Dammitt... my only way of getting back to the real world, and I blew it,'_ he cried, not even paying attention as he tripped, falling into a raging river. He tried to swim, but he didn't know how to. The current bashed him about, carrying it down its flow before his world faded to black...


	7. Chapter 7

Shizuo stood outside the school, staring up at the large glass windows. He really didn't want to be here, especially today. For one, he never liked learning, he always went just to spend time with his friends. But with Izaya being as he was, that reason was thinning. He hated how that boy kept going through mood-swings. Yet, a part of him had a theory about it, there was no guaranteeing he was right. Accusing the raven with such a thing may even break the fragile relationship they had at the moment.

_'Izaya...,' _his thoughts trailed off, clenching his stomach. He could swear he could faintly feel that warm feeling from last night, those sniffles and muffled pleas ringing through his head. He didn't know exactly what they had said, but he knew Izaya had to be in some sort of trouble. But as he stared into the window, the laughing raven seemed just fine.

Knowing he wouldn't get to the bottom of this, he strolled into the school and up the stairs. Shinra was there, seeming to posses a rather concerned face, but the laughing Izaya didn't seem to mind at all.

"Are you positive? Celty never lies, and she seemed pretty shaken up," Shinra continued from whatever conversation they were having. It troubled the blonde. Had Izaya done something to Celty again? This was getting old by now.

"What's wrong?" He asked, making his presence known for the first time. Shinra jumped at his voice.

"Oh, hey Shizuo-"

"Can you believe it?" Izaya spoke through chuckles, a mocking look plastered on his face. "He thinks I came to his house last night and cried to Celty! I think she needs to be checked out." Shinra shot him a hard glare, clenching his fists at his side.

"She said you were scared and felt bad for not being about to stop you from running off!" He snapped, shaking his head to push his anger away.

Shizuo gave Shinra and Izaya a strange look, gently touching his cheek; the cheek where he saw the raven lightly kiss it in his dream. The Izaya he dreamed about seemed pretty frightened too, not to mention completely miserable. He still couldn't tell what he said, but the tears and anguish on his face told him it wasn't good.

"Shinra, mind telling me what happened?" He scoffed, ignoring Izaya. The doctor gave a small smile, seeming pleased that at least one of his friends would listen; Kadota couldn't stand Izaya anymore.

"Well, Celty woke me up last night and asked what Izaya was doing there. Apparently he seemed shocked that she saw him and cried to her, saying how he missed talking to someone."

Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow, seeing through the corner of his eye that Izaya wasn't even listening to a thing they were saying. He wanted to slap some sense into him, but he didn't want to dare accidentally hurt him.

"Missed talking to people?" Shinra nodded, agreeing with his confusion.

"I thought she was crazy too, especially when she said he phased through the wall, as if he was some kind of ghost or something." The blonde felt his face pale over, pupil's shrinking to the back of his head. Celty thought Izaya was a ghost? But he wasn't dead, though Shizuo constantly felt this egging feeling that something was wrong with him; he always thought it was because of his new condition.

"You alright Shizuo?" Shinra asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. It took the blonde a moment to nod, brushing his fingers through his hair. He couldn't help but recall that faint tingling feeling in his hand from yesterday. He missed it, a lot. It was the only time he was actually able to sleep for once in the past week and a half. Or was it two weeks by now? All the days were starting to blur together.

"No, I'm not," he honestly replied, taking a deep breath. "That kid isn't making this easy on us. Ahhh, I think Celty might be right, though," he whispered in case Izaya was eavesdropping.

"You think she's right?" He asked, saddening a bit.

"Well, something's going on, and I'm going with anything and everything that's out of the norm."

"You saw the scans Shizuo, our Izaya is still there, just lost," Shinra continued, seeming to fear for his friend's sanity. That's what he hated about smart-intellectual people. They always tried to dismiss everything through science, when in reality, they couldn't. He was lucky Shinra was a good friend of his unless he'd probably blow a casket.

"Look, I know what I felt last night wasn't normal; nothing like that has been able to calm me down," Shizuo sighed, squeezing the top of his nose to stifle back a headache. "Just listen to Celty, see what she thinks." The doctor opened his mouth to say something, but the bell cut him off. Shizuo was never so glad for school to start before in his life.

"Okay, I'll look into it for you," Shinra smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Ready?" Shizuo was about to say yes before the raven's faint gaze drew him out.

"Ah, looks like Izaya's about to have another episode. I'll stay here, I guess. Can you tell the teacher we'll be a bit late?" Shinra just nodded before taking off. He knew the doctor didn't want to deal with Izaya anymore; that made two friends wanting to leave him.

_'I don't know how much longer I'll be able to pull this off,' _Shizuo admitted, taking a deep breath. He was determined to keep trying, no matter how hopeless it seemed to be...

Izaya woke up with a start, grabbing his throat and gagging. His stomach was trying to puke up all that water his other self swallowed, but nothing came out. His eyes stung as if lemons and hot-sauce had been squeezed into them, his chest and lungs aching from the pressure and loss of air. He didn't know how much more he'd be able to take. He had the chance to tell someone what really happened to him, but he had to let his low-self-esteem get to him and run away. Ahh, now they may never know.

But how was Celty able to see him in the first place? Maybe it had something to do with the fact she wasn't pure human, she was a Dullahan after all. There was a huge possibility they possessed the ability to see the dead, but just didn't know it.

_'I didn't even get to check on Kadota,' _he sighed, slowly forcing his knees up to his chest. He didn't want to get up, he just wanted to leave this place and thrown somewhere else. Anywhere was better then here; it didn't have Shizuo, or Shinra, or Kadota. The only good thing that came out of last night was making Shizuo smile. Though he was forced to watch Misaki dance with him and Shizuo's hands on his waist... No matter how much it hurt, he at least felt somewhat useful.

_'Shizu-chann... I miss you.' _Tears rolled down his eyes unwillingly this time, making him slowly move his hand up to his face to wipe them away. Even though he was able to give the blonde a kiss goodnight, he missed feeling those strong arms around him, tightening with protection, tightening around him with love.

He felt his stomach ache, clenching it almost instantly. Now that he thought about it, all this stress had to be warring his body out. Poor Celty, she must've been so shocked seeing him like this. He was already a ugly sight, he didn't know how he could get any worse.

Sighing, he allowed his eyes to close, knowing full-well there was no use in avoiding sleep...

The next time the raven opened his eyes, he heard the school bell ring. A part of him really missed being in school, even if they had a lot of work. He didn't mind, he usually took his studies very seriously. He was the number one in the class. Ahhh, if he ever got back, it would be hard reclaiming the title.

"You alright?" Shizuo's voice rang, making the raven snap his eyes open. He was on the stair way, the usual meeting place for the four boys. Shinra and Kadota must've left, seeing how they weren't there. It was just Shizuo and Misaki; again.

"Define okay," he sighed, rubbing his forehead sluggishly. Shizuo shrugged his shoulders, not seeming to really care. Misaki noticed the rather cold treatment, looking rather sad.

"Hey, Shizuo?"

"Hm?" The blonde really didn't seem all that interested.

"Did... did you enjoy the rain?" Shizuo's face stricken a bit, placing a hand on his waist again. He'd forgotten about that. He was too concerned about figuring out what the hell was going on to recall that moment. That's what puzzled him most of all. It seemed like Izaya, the old Izaya was there with them, but he still acted like the brat that stood in-front of him now.

"Eh, I'm not one for dancing, but it was certainty interesting," he honestly replied. Misaki seemed to blush at this, staring over at Izaya with a rather devious smirk.

"That's good... I hoped I could make you smile-" his voice stopped suddenly, falling forward. Shizuo quickly skied forward on his knees, catching the raven right before he slammed his head into the ground. It was a close one, but luckily he made it.

"Little more warning next time," Shizuo stressed, running a hand through that silky hair. It seemed a lot more greasier then normal, as if it was dieing. Split ends and dead hair was the worst.

"S-sorry, I didn't know," he quietly mumbled, looking straight at Izaya. The raven clenched his fists at the side, knowing there was nothing he could do. There was no use in wasting his energy anymore if he wasn't going to hear him.

Dammiitttt. He really didn't want to see this.

"Tch," Shizuo scowled slightly, a little weary. What was with this sudden weakness in his character? Just a moment ago, Misaki was making fun of Shinra. Now he seemed apologetic. "Just be more careful, would yeah? I don't want you getting hurt on me."

"Sh-Shizuo," Izaya whimpered, tears welling in his red-rimmed eyes. He was telling all this to the wrong person! That wasn't him! "Shizu-chann, it's, it's not me." Misaki seemed to smirk even eviler at this.

"Er-ermm, d-do you like me, Shizu-chan?" The blonde's face paled over, staring wide-eyed at the Izaya in his arms. He hadn't heard that nickname in so long; it was the whole reason for him ignoring him in the first place! Didn't he learn not to call him that?

Misaki giggled a bit at the reaction he got, slowly leaning up. "You're flustered, is, is that your answer?" He smirked, tilting his head to the side a bit. Shizuo could only gulp, not knowing what to do; he could hardly move in the first place.

Izaya watched as Misaki's lips, his lips, went closer to the blonde's, who seemed completely frozen. The only part of him that seemed to remain ached in agony, nearly making him stumble backwards.

"N-no, what, what are you doing?" Izaya screeched, unable to move his legs. Misaki just seemed to smirk at him evilly, leaning up against the frozen blonde now. He couldn't let this happen. This, this was just wrong in so many ways. Not only was he trying to steal his first kiss, he was also stealing Shizuo's first kiss. He didn't want it to be stolen by some monster who tormented their friends.

"No, snap out of it, Shizu-chan!" He cried, clenching his pant legs. But like before, he didn't seem to hear him at all.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Shizuo was barely able to mutter, too caught in the moment to do anything.

"Shh, it's just us," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Shizuo's neck.

Izaya felt the remainder of his heart crack. "No, snap out of it, SHIZU-CHANN!" He screamed with all his might, falling to his knees. The pain was so intense in his chest he was forced to clench it.

Shizuo's eyes suddenly widened, turning his gaze to the stairs. Misaki frowned at this, not sure what the blonde heard. He hoped Izaya wasn't getting louder, that meant he was finding his way back.

"Heyy, it's alright-" he was cut off as Shizuo quickly stood up, not even caring if Misaki was holding on properly or not. But the determined raven stood his ground, not letting his grip go around his neck.

"There's no one there, we're the only two in the world right now," he smiled, rather forcefully turning Shizuo's head to face him. The blonde could just stare into his eyes, watching with a racing heart as Misaki reached up to kiss him yet again.

"No, no no no!" Izaya cried. This was it. He was sick of all this. If he was going to stay invisible, he was at least going to save his precious Shizuo. Forcing his limbs to move, he ran over to Shizuo, grasping his forearm.

"Shizu-chan, you can't, you can't let him!" He cried, earning a gasp from Shizuo.

"Shhh," Misaki ushered with a sweat beading down the side of his face, pressing a finger to his lips. "I'm yours."

The real raven watched in horror, seeing the lips only inches away from each other. His thoughts were racing, his heart was pounding. He didn't know what to do anymore, all he knew was he couldn't let Shizuo suffer because of him anymore.

"Shizu-chan, that's not me!" He screamed with all his might, tugging on the man's arm even harder then ever before. Shizuo's mouth widened at the action, quickly pushing Misaki off him. The raven stumbled against the window, slamming into it with surprisingly much force.

Izaya watched dumbfounded, letting his grip on Shizuo go with large eyes.

"Oww, what was that for Shizu-chan?" He frowned, slowly sliding up the glass. But he felt threatened, seeing Shizuo stare down at him with a hateful expression. His lips were curled in a murderous glare, eyes nearly steaming with his anger.

"Who the hell are you!" He snapped, taking a dangerously large step towards the raven. Misaki backed up against the glass even more, trying to find a way to run, but he was cornered.

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Don't you dare play games with me you moron, I'm not a freakin dumbass!" He spit, slamming his fist into the wall. White dust immediately took to the air as a hole was formed, making Misaki gulp. "What the hell did you do with Izaya?"

Misaki stared at the blonde for a few moments, staring into those eyes as if trying to decide whether or not he really meant business. For all he knew, this was just a temper tantrum he was having, he had them every now and then. But the more he stared into those eyes, the more he knew it wasn't that.

Slowly, Misaki dropped the terrified act, letting his face fall into that dull-murderous face he normally wore. "About time one of you figured it out, and here I thought I was going to get away with it."

Shizuo growled, balling his fist in preparation to punch the imposter in the face. Izaya, seeing this quickly wrapped his arms around his waist, burring his head against his back.

"Nooo, Shizu-chan, you can't! You'll kill me!" Izaya cried, just waiting for the impact. After Shizuo was done with him, he wouldn't have a body to return to.

"Heh, you should really listen to your friend. That is, if you want him back." Shizuo stopped his fist mid-way, staring at him with wide-eyes. He could feel the sensation around his waist again, seeming to be stronger then yesterday. Could that really be Izaya?

"Wh-what do you mean? Is, is Izaya, here?" The grip around his waist tightened, feeling what seemed to be a head rubbing against his back.

"Izaya's been here off and on, just enough to see you always flirting with me," he smirked, giving that devilish face. Shizuo felt his anger boil again, but the grip around his waist calmed him down. Gently, he placed one of his hands on his chest where he felt the grip, gasping instantly feeling a small, barely solid arm there. It felt so fragile that he could break through it at any moment.

"I-Izaya?" He gently cooed, staring below him. He could feel the raven's head un-burry itself from his waist, as if he was leaning so he could get a better look at his face. There didn't seem to be anything there, but he could swear he could see the stairs looking a bit disoriented.

"Ah, he doesn't have the energy to let you see him. He's almost completely gone." Shizuo turned his attention back to Misaki in-front of him, anger apparent. He wouldn't be able to hold it back any longer. "Before you go pounding my face in, I just want you to know any injury you do to me will remain if and when I give this body back to Izaya."

"Wait, you stole his body?" He questioned, staring into the inverted eye with swimming thoughts. Now it all made sense. The reason for the eye being messed up in the first place, the reason for the weird shift in brain activity, and the constant faints. Izaya's body was rejecting this thing, which was probably that mass that made people disappear.

"You didn't think his eye is like this now because of a random solar eclipse did you?" He snarled, rolling his eyes. "I used it as a entry point."

"You, you sick bastard!" He snapped, holding Izaya's arms around him tighter. He wished he could just kill this guy already for what he did to Izaya.

"Shizu-chan, you need to calm downnn," Izaya whimpered against his back, letting more tears drift down his cheeks. He really didn't know what to do at this point. Shizuo was starting to lose it, he could feel it through his body temperature. If he accidentally demolished his body beyond repair, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The blonde would never forgive himself for it either.

"No, I'm not the bastard here," Misaki cursed, glowering at the raven. "It was Izaya's fault for wishing to be invisible, like I was even though he had friends! No one should ever fake that; no one should ever give up what they have! It makes me sick!"

"People like you make me sick!" He growled, taking another step forward. Izaya gripped even tighter against Shizuo's chest, but it didn't seem to do anything. He was running out of things to do. This wasn't good, this wasn't good! There had to be a way for him to see him, but like Misaki had mentioned earlier, he really didn't have anything more to give.

No, he did. He just didn't know the repercussions that would come with it. But as long as Shizuo wouldn't have to deal with the guilt, he was willing to do it.

Concentrating, he focused all his energy on his grip. It felt weird, feeling all his energy nearly leave him. "Shi-Shizu-chann... noooo," he quietly spoke through his hoarse voice. He could feel his grip failing, arms beginning to shake at the effort.

Shizuo felt his blood run cold hearing the voice, slowly looking down to see pale arms wrapped around his waist. They looked ice-cold and too pale for a living person. "I-Izaya?" His voice cracked, turning his head to watch as Izaya collapsed on his knees. The blonde wasted no time swerving around, gently placing his hands on the frigid shoulders. He couldn't believe this. This was Izaya? He looked so broken he didn't even want to believe it was reality. His cheeks were covered in a layer of tears and a gloss where water seemed to have been at a earlier time. His eyes were red-rimmed, maybe even swollen from crying so much. His face looked so red, he no doubt had to be running a fever.

"Shizu-chan...?" Izaya's small voice cried, looking up at the blonde with difficulty. Shizuo had to gulp back tears, staring into the right eye that was messed up as well. "Shizu-chan, you can finally see me? You can, finally, see me," he cried weakly, falling limp in his arms.

"Izaya!" Shizuo hollered, wrapping the small boy in his strong warm arms, careful not to shatter him. "It's okay, I've got you now."

"You're, you're so warm...," Izaya smiled faintly, unable to move anymore. "I've missed, your warmth. I-I've missed you."

Shizuo felt his heart at the verge of breaking down, but somehow managed to keep all his tears in. He wasn't going to fall apart when Izaya was in this state. "I've missed you." He was so tempted to lay his lips in that mess of hair of his, but he was too afraid the raven would disappear.

"I'd let him go if I were you, unless you want his soul to die out before you even get the chance to try saving him," Misaki's voice rang from behind them, making the two boys shutter at the thought.

"Sounds like you're willing to let him go back in his body," Shizuo sneered, trying to pull Izaya closer to his chest, but his arms went right through him at the attempt.

Dammmiitt.

"Like I'd let that happen. I just want to have the opportunity to kill him myself." Shizuo felt his anger boil, turning to Misaki with fury.

"Burn in hell!"

"Not very nice Shizu-chan," he dryly whined before skipping over to the steps. "Eh, while you're tending to the trash, I'll go and get rid of it at its root." Before Shizuo could say anything, the raven disappeared down the stairs. Shizuo cursed to himself, wishing to chase after him, but didn't want to leave Izaya; not after he was invisible for so long.

"Shi...zu-chan," Izaya quietly spoke, feeling his head go light.

"Yeah?" The blonde asked, doing his best to keep his voice from cracking.

"Thanks... for letting me feel your warmth...one last time..." Shizuo's eyes widened, heart racing. What could he mean by that? No, he better not be thinking what he was thinking.

"No, no you cant die on me! I don't want to be here without you again!" Shizuo cried, letting his tears surface. Izaya seemed a bit shocked that he made the blonde cry so easily, but had to push it away.

"Bye bye, Shizuo..." The blonde couldn't even do anything as Izaya fell limp in his arms, body completely disappearing.

"No... No...," he stuttered, staring at where the raven had been before his pupils shrank in the back of his eyes. "NOOOOO!" He screamed, tears cascading down his face in endless waterfalls. He refused to believe Izaya was dead. No, he knew he wasn't dead, but very close. There was still time to save him.

Quickly, he rose from the ground, storming off down the stairs. There was only one place he could think of to go; the place where this all started...


	8. Chapter 8

Izaya laid in the grassy field, unable to open his eyes or move an inch. Breathing had becoming a strenuous task, as if he was having a bad asthma attack. After all he just did, he wondered if it was really worth this. Shizuo would be so angry if he ever learned how this choice effected him.

Ahh, if he did get out of this alive, he was scared of Shizuo's welcome-back. Depending on the state his body was in and how well his body pulled itself together, there could be multiple reactions he could have; none of them pleasant.

'_Ahhh, Shizu-chan...,' _he mentally cried. _'Please, save me...'_

Shizuo darted down the sidewalks, using lamp-posts, street signs, and about anything to make it easier for him to turn the sharp corners. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, but it seemed to gain a slower pace with each minute. He began to wonder, though it may sound insane, if it was Izaya's heart-beat he was hearing, not his. It only made him even more nervous and conscious of the time he was taking. There wasn't a moment he could spare. Though, through all the madness, he couldn't help but feel that sickening feeling of something going horribly wrong.

_'Just in case,' _he sighed, slipping his cellphone out and dialing Shinra's number. He'd feel a lot better if a medical person, like Shinra, was there. Not to mention Celty. She was the only that was able to see Izaya when he was still invisible.

"Shizuo where are you?" Shinra asked rather urgently. "Everyone's looking for the two of you." Oh, great. He didn't even get as far as thinking of an excuse for school.

"Celty was right!" He exclaimed, grabbing a lamp post and swerving around the corner. He could see the park where the festival took place now. God, why couldn't he run faster?

"Wait, what? I don't understand-"

"I don't have time to explain, but Izaya's dieing, I need you to get a kit or whatever and bring Celty with you."

"Wh-wh-what?" Shinra stuttered, seeming to hit his head against a wall from the shock. Shizuo felt bad for summing it up to that, but it was the truth. They didn't have much time. Luckily he was coming up to the park entrance, so he was at least able to do something now.

"Meet up at the park where the field trip was held." The blonde didn't even bother saying bye as he hung up, throwing the device back in his pocket. He entered the park, panting and looking around. He really had no idea where that stupid tree was since he didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

Ahhh, dammiiitttt.

The smell of gasoline snapped him out of his thoughts, making him look around suspiciously. This was a park, and the nearest gas station was at least eight miles away. And it wasn't like cars could leak this amount of gas. Turning, he caught a glimpse of the raven soaking a tree with small papers on it with what seemed to be a small gas can. He didn't even know where he'd be able to get one of those.

"What are you doing!" He snapped, running up to him. It probably wasn't the smartest move to yell before he got over to him, but he still didn't want to somehow accidentally hurt him. It was still Izaya, after all. He's been through enough.

Misaki scowled, quickly throwing the gas can to the ground and taking out a match. "Like I said, I'm disposing the problem at its roots," he smirked, throwing the match at the tree. Shizuo tried jumping to reach it, but he was only able to barely graze the end of the wood before the tree blazed.

"HAHAHAHA, good-bye Izaya! Good-bye you cruel world!" Misaki chuckled insanely, grasping his shirt in and tugging on it. The blonde could tell he was obviously losing his mind now, which meant this couldn't turn out well.

"Like hell I'm letting the flea leave!" He gleamed, scooping up some dirt from one of the dirt-filled pots on the side. He didn't know how this would work over gasoline, but it had to at least do something.

"No, what are you doing?" Misaki bellowed as Shizuo dumped the small amount on the tree. There was a few sizzles, but nothing major happened. At least he knew how he could put it out.

"I'm saving my friend; something you'd never do!" Misaki watched as Shizuo scooped up another handful and dumping it on the fire. Some of the embers and small spots of yellow began fading, showing that it was indeed working. But he couldn't have that.

"You won't interfere with my plans," he growled, jumping on Shizuo's back. The blonde squeaked in shock, feeling small arms wrap around his neck. There was nothing he could do as the raven began strangling him, except pace back and forth.

"Give up now and I'll let you live," Misaki chuckled, stabbing his thumbs even deeper into his neck. Shizuo couldn't help but let out a muffled groan, forcing his arms behind him in attempt to pull Izaya's body off. The flea's body kept maneuvering around, avoiding the hands that tried to grab him. If the blonde really tried, he could throw him off or even slam him into the ground beneath him. But the reality of knowing he could accidentally injure the boy stopped him.

Slowly, he began seeing his eyes dancing with black spots, lack of oxygen finally having some effect. The tree looked more then half burned by now, and every time Shizuo made his way over, the raven on his back forced him back.

_'Sh-shitttt,' _he cried to himself, hearing the heart-beat getting even fainter. He could hardly believe that it was still beating right now; but he didn't want to question it. All he wanted was Izaya back.

"Looks like Izaya's life is going to end in just a moment," Misaki chuckled. "Then everything his will be mineeee. Serves him right."

There was no way to prevent this. Deep down, Shizuo knew it would probably come to this, though he preferred it not to. He was always afraid of what might happen if he ever allowed this, but there was no stopping it.

"No, if Izaya can't have his life, you can't have his!" He cried, slowly closing his eyes. He hated this, he really wished there was another way out. _'I'm so sorry, Izaya...,'_ he cried. With little effort, he swung his body around, making the raven go flying into a lamp-post. There was a sound of a deadly cling, and the raven didn't seem to move again.

Silence fell over the park until nothing but the fire crumbling the tree could be heard. Shizuo hardly even registered anything as he stared down at the unmoving body of his friend. His breathing seemed to have stopped, or rather slowed down to such a slow pace it was hardly even noticeable. His eye-lids were closed, hair draping in-front of it.

"H-hey... you okay?" He shakingly asked, hesitantly leaning down to the body. There was no response. Not even a deep breath. Not even a sigh. Not even a cough. Nothing. Nothing at all. The small beating in his ears slowed down, he could hardly even tell it was supposed to be a heart beat at all.

Fear soon overwhelmed him, pupil's shrinking to the back of his head. He couldn't believe this, and he was the one to blame for it. "N-no... this, this can't be," he cried, pulling at his blonde hair nervously. "This was the reason why I stayed away from him, so I wouldn't accidentally hurt him again. This, this just can't-" he chocked on his words, pulling some strands of his hair out. He didn't even flinch at the pain that came with the act, even though it was one of the few things he was sensitive to.

"Jeeez, why'd you have to go and do that!" A voice snapped him out of his thoughts, hazily gazing up at the small form of a boy, the same height as Izaya. The only difference was the shape of his head was different, and the outline of the hair seemed shorter.

"A-are you-"

"Duh! You gave the body a freakin concussion!" The blonde felt his blood run cold.

"Wh-what?"

"A concussion, I didn't stutter did I?"' He snapped, placing his hands on his hips. "It was bad enough to knock me outta there; now I can't find another entry point god-dammit! And it's all because of you!"

"B-because of me?" He cried, staring down at his shaking hands in complete horror. He couldn't believe he allowed himself to do something like that. Izaya was so fragile, and he knew this, yet he thought throwing him against the lamp-post would only slow him down a bit. But he was too strong, not even he knew his real strength.

_'I-I really am a monster...'_

"Wow, you didn't even stop the fire, I bet he's gone by now too. Hmm, too bad, what a waste of such a beautiful body," he sighed, sitting cress-cross apple sauce in-front of Shizuo. The brute didn't even either seem to mind or notice, as he continued looking blankly forward.

"I-Izaya... is dead?"

"Yep, all because you were too much of a, what are those things called, oh, a protozoan." Shizuo gave him a weird look, not even knowing what that was. But he could care less.

"Why are you even here anyway? Why did you chose Izaya, out of all those idiotic people?" He asked rather expressionlessly, not taking his eyes off the raven.

"Hm, guess I could bore you with my story, though I always make it a long story short. Basically, I lived in Tokyo, forced to leave because everyone thought I was the reason for some curse at some school. Went to Rajin, no one seemed to notice me at all, not even the teachers. So, one day, I found I had really became invisible. No one could see me, but I could see them." He looked up at Shizuo, but he didn't seem to care much. So he just continued. "You'd think it'd be cool, being able to do what you wanted. But I couldn't take it anymore, and committed suicide."

"Then you prayed on a poor-feeble boy who's so fragile a small push would send him flying. Yeah, like you didn't deserve to become invisible," Shizuo snapped, though only half-heartily. The mass opened it's mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. It seemed lost for words, for once.

"Shizuo!" Shinra's voice rang in his ears, but the blonde didn't even turn around. He didn't want to do anything but die. He'd never be able to get over this. "Oh... god," the doctor gasped from behind him. "Wh-what is that thing?"

"I'm no _'thing' _stupid four-eyes," Misaki growled. "I was living with you for the past week or so, and still would be if it weren't for him!" Shizuo buried his face in his hands, leaning forward. Like he already didn't feel miserable enough.

"Shinra, he, he's not moving," he dryly mumbled. "He has a bad concussion." Shinra looked up at the unmoving Izaya with trembling eyes.

"Shit," Shinra cursed, which was really really out of character for him. It even made Shizuo look up from his hands and focus on the doctor. It had to be bad if Shinra had to resort to cussing.

A hand on his shoulder nearly made him jump, turning his head around to see Celty, holding her phone out to him._ 'I see the annoying hamster, but where's Izaya?'_ Shizuo felt his throat clench even more. He really didn't want to get on that topic, but he knew there was no way moving around it.

"Tree... The tree was a medium between this world and the one this bastard came from." Celty studied the burned tree that was reduced to blackened branches. All the green leaves were burnt into a crisp, ashes covering the dirt around it.

_'It's burned? Why?'_ Shizuo just shook his head, giving a slight point at Misaki before burring his face in his hands again.

"There was nothing... I could do," he cried, digging his head in his hands. "I was helpless., and forced to fling him off; it's all my freakin fault!"

"Don't say that," Shinra's voice came from in-front of him. "Judging by the strangle marks on your neck, you did what you had to do," the doctor sniffled, trying to keep his tears back. Shizuo figured it was for him, he was never good at hiding things so the attempt really didn't work. "Th-though, maybe hitting him off a little softer would've been better." The blonde just burred his head in his hands again, not even bothering to look up. He was done. He was so freakin done with all this. He could hardly survive without Izaya before, even though he had his body. But now he would never have Izaya's soul back.

Celty patted him on the back a few times before going over to the tree, inspecting it. There had to be some piece of it still alive...


	9. Chapter 9

Izaya felt his small screams slowly come to a stop, the burning sensation finally stopping. But his body ached at the new wounds and fatigue. He wasn't in a good shape earlier, well now he was next to death's door now. It was so tempting to just let it take him; it was tempting enough. Yet, there seemed to be something that held him back.

_'Shizu-chan,'_ he cried, clenching his own shoulders with much difficultly. He didn't want to move much, especially since it conserved energy. But he just felt so lonely right now, so alone, so dead.

_'I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you, Shizu-chan..._' he trailed off, seeing a small figure in the distance. It looked rather short dragging something closely behind it. Had someone else survived the fire as well? It'd be weird, considering he was the only lost person there.

"Ello there Lostie," a small girl's voice rang, bringing a small smile to the raven's face. He remembered her!

"Heyy, haven't see you around," he smiled, unable to hide the pain his his voice. The little girl seemed to notice this, groaning.

"You got hurt, Misaki isn't the brightest. That's why we call him a monkey butt." Izaya raised a questioning eyebrow, but decided to just drop it. He needed to pass on already anyway.

"Well, it was nice seeing you again, but I'm afraid I have to go."

"Go?" The girl asked, tilting her head, allowing those golden curls to dance. "Go where?"

Izaya shifted uneasily. "I can't go back, I don't have enough energy," he frowned, wishing he could embrace the girl to make her feel better. "So I'm going to see the angels."

"You can't die sillyyy, there's still a way out."

The raven looked over the girl suspiciously. "This whole place just ashes. I'm pretty sure we're done for."

The girl simply shook her head. "You know, even the smallest things can grow and blossom into something beautiful."

"Is that some kind of saying?" He wondered, kind of liking the sound of it. It reminded him much of himself, being as short as he was.

"Yes, and no."

Such a strange little girl. "Well, what is it then?"

"It's the present. - Think, what's the present you've been given?"

"Present?"

The girl nodded. "It can come in all shapes and sizes... Figure this out, and you can find your way back!" She giggled before running off. Izaya wanted to reach out for her, beg her to stay with him, but she was too fast. Maybe it was for the better because he didn't understand a word she just said.

Present... Present... He had to figure out a present he got that didn't have to be a object. Well, he lost his body, he thought he was invisible, so if those qualified as a present, he didn't want them. '_This is pointless,'_ he sighed, staring off into space. The only thing he really got out of this was... was...

Izaya's eyes widened, a small smile crossing his face. That was it. The small present he got was his friends, his life, Shizuo, Shinra, and Kadota. They were there watching his body while he's been away, and they were there to sacrifice themselves when Misaki was trying to use him.

Slowly, he felt a warmth in his chest, soothing his entire body. He had no idea what it was, but he liked the feeling of it.

_'The most important present I got this year, was my love for Shizuo...' _Slowly, his world faded to black, the warmth too intense...

Celty brushed away some of the ashes from the burned tree, finally finding the dirt that was there before the wreckage. But even then there wasn't a sign of any parts of it being untouched by the dancing flames.

_'There has to be a way to bring him back,' s_he stressed, letting some of the sand sink through her fingers. She nearly jumped when she saw something sprout from the dirt, rising up as if it had only been buried.

_'Wh-what the-'_ she awed, watching as a tree erupted from the ashes, branches, twigs, and leaves intertwining themselves in the burned branches. It seemed as if it was gently hugging it, supporting it as best as it could.

Quickly, she took a rock and hit Shizuo in the head with it. The blonde turned to her with a rather annoyed expression before eyes widening at the sight. "Wh-what the heck is that?" His hands fell limp at his sides, gazing up with mouth wide as it stopped growing a bit higher then the original tree.

Celty was about to type something on her phone before something began phasing through the tree. The black rider couldn't help but take a step back in utter shock, watching as a small body drifted out of it.

"I-it can't be!" Misaki gasped in utter shock. "It's, it's Izaya!" Shizuo quickly sprang up, darting over to where he could see a disorienting background and lead the small boy in his arms. Surprisingly, he seemed to stay there, as if he were a fragile piece of paper that could be easily ripped.

"Ha, ha- It really is him!" Shizuo cried, tears flooding down his eyes. He never thought he'd ever feel the small raven again, even if it was his spiritual form. He just hoped it wasn't too late.

"I've got you now," Shizuo whispered down to the raven, tempted to nuzzle his hair with his chin. But it wouldn't matter if he did or not; he wouldn't be able to feel it. He didn't even want to tell Izaya about the state of his body. God, what if he was in pain when he got back? What if... his body was dead?

The blonde nearly jumped feeling Celty tap him on the shoulder, turning to read the text. _'He's not moving Shizuo, he's in the same state his body is.'_

Shizuo's face paled over, looking back down in attempt to see the raven, but to no avail. "Then, then what should I do?" He urgently asked, feeling adrenaline coursing through him. He could feel his breath become uneven, wanting to grasp his aching heart. But he didn't want to drop him.

Another tap vibrated his shoulder, making him turn to Celty once more. _'Try putting him back in his body... You never know, it might work.'_

Shizuo ground his teeth, letting his bangs sweep over his face. "B-but, he'll probably be in pain..."

_'It's better then having him die.' _The blonde's eyes drifted away from the text, falling dark. He really didn't want to do this. He really didn't want Izaya to feel any pain all because of him. But if he didn't, he could die...

"I'm sorry, about this," he sniffled. Hesitantly, he strode forward to Izaya's unmoving body, though feeling extremely guilty. He really didn't want to do this, but he knew he had to.

"Hey, it'll be fine," Shinra's voice soothed, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Shizuo looked up at the smiling doctor who's tears were silently falling, but his smile gave him courage.

"Please, forgive me," he begged, letting the small boy go. He could see the surroundings and cloths disorient themselves before it went back to normal. But there was still no change.

"Why-Why isn't he moving yet?" Shizuo gulped, running a nervous hand through his sweaty-hair. He could feel his own heart slowing, trying to find a reason to continue to beat if Izaya wasn't going to be there.

"It'll take his body a while to adjust, if it accepts him," Misaki muttered from where he sat, slowly getting up. Shizuo wished he could beat him to a pulp, but knew the effort would be in-vain. At least he calmed his nerves, even if it was slightly.

"Celty, you ready to transport Izaya to the house?" She nodded, giving them a wave before running off. She had to fetch her motorcycle, or rather, horse. The wait was already beginning to get to him, he wanted to punch something or someone.

"He'll be alright, right Shizuo?" Shinra asked, snapping the teen out of his thoughts .Was that really the doctor? The one that's been trying to cheer him up through this whole ordeal? He sounded so hopeless now.

"He's going to be, just like back then," the doctor answered himself. He seemed to be trying to convince himself of the words he's been saying all along. For some reason, it hurt a part of him.

"Like back when he was stabbed?" The blonde asked, eyes gazing down at the doctor. He watched with some jealously as Shinra brushed some hair out of Izaya's closed eyes. He wanted to embrace the boy, sending him the warmth he's been missing out on. But he was scared of hurting him any further. Slowly, he turned his gaze to the ground, leaning on one of his hands.

"You know, you can hold him, if you'd like," Shinra smiled through his tears, obviously seeing the envy.

"N-no, I don't want to hurt him anymore," he cried, leaning more into his hand. Shinra couldn't help but frown, this attitude sounding frightening familiar.

"Don't stick with this old act again," the doctor pouted, tugging on his school-uniform sleeve. "You don't want Izaya to feel alone again, do you?" Shizuo's mocha eyes dropped open, trembling at the reality. The whole reason why the raven got caught in this mess was because he was too much of a coward to talk to Izaya. Yes, he did like him, but the fear of hurting him, like this, always held him back. He couldn't just leave him so alone; not again.

"Never, never again," Shizuo cried, crawling over to the raven's side and running his fingers through that dead-swept hair. A soft smile slowly grinned across his face, feeling his body no longer foreign. He really was back .

"I hope you're not in pain," the blonde quivered, gulping nervously. He didn't know if Izaya could hear him or not, but it didn't matter. He needed to let this out. "I-I couldn't bear it if you were," he sighed, taking a deep breath. He was going to be sure Izaya knew he'd never be alone again.

Gently, and very carefully, he pulled the raven on his lap, earning squeaks of disapproval from Shinra. But Shizuo already knew he had to be careful with his head; he couldn't afford hitting it.

"My warmth is your warmth, always," Shizuo sniffled, recalling some of Izaya's last words with a rack in his throat. He then wrapped his strong arms around the small boy, letting his head lean motionless against his chest. It worried him that he couldn't feel his chest rising and falling at a normal speed; it was barely existent at all.

"S-so, you need to come back back to me, unless you can't feel meee," he whined, slowly leaning his head down, breathing against his ear. He couldn't believe he was about to say this, but he had to let Izaya know how important he was.

"Come back to me, Izaya, I like you too!" He cried, pressing his forehead against that hair, allowing his tears to seep down his cheeks and drift onto the raven. It was taking everything in his being to hold back his sobs. "A-and I've learned I can't live without you," Shinra's eyes widened, completely confused. He's never seen the blonde cry; not like this. He really seemed to be breaking down, his trembling nearly out of control.

"Shizuo...," he quietly spoke, smiling slightly at the boy. He knew Shizuo felt differently about Izaya, and knew how Izaya felt around Shizuo. It was about time the blonde revealed his true feelings for him, Shinra was beginning to wonder what it would take.

Shizuo nuzzled his hair, though being careful not to even go next to the back of his head. He wished he could hear the raven's laugh, echoing as he did this. He wished he could hear that adorable voice and see that breath-taking smile of his.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't take you away from all this," he sniffled, feeling a small hand lightly grip the blonde's shirt. Could that really be Izaya's hand? It couldn't be anyone else's.

Slowly, he looked down, seeing pale fingers gripping him with much effort. However, his breathing hadn't changed a bit, his eyes hadn't even stirred, and he didn't even groan.

How was this even possible?

"Hey, Celty's here," Shinra patted the blonde on the back, getting up from the floor. Shizuo nodded in understanding, letting out a long sigh. It was almost time to find out if he was going to make it, the mere thought of it was making his heart ache.

Carefully shifting the raven in his arms, he climbed on the back of the motorcycle before they drove off...


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry haven't updated this one in a while, had a lot going on and then started my other story, Making and Breaking ^ ^''

0-0

Night had fallen over four hours ago, and Shinra and his father still hadn't come out with any results. Four freakin hours; Shizuo really expected at least something by now. Unless something went horribly wrong. What if Izaya had passed on, and he just didn't know it? That concussion did seem really bad.

_ 'Ahhhh,_' he groaned to himself, leaning his elbows on his knees. The stress was just too much for him to handle. Thankfully he didn't feel the urge to try punching some of the walls and doors down. Then again, how could he after what he caused?

_ 'What am I going to do...?' _He began wondering, letting his head fall into his hands, fingers pulling back his hair. He didn't care if he pulled even more out of it. He didn't care if he had to give it up, or his own life if it meant giving Izaya another chance.

The sound of a door opening made the blonde fly out of his chair, watching with anticipation as Shinra stepped out. Behind him, his father took his leave down the hall, only making the mood even more suspenseful.

"Well, how is he?" He asked, already walking up to the door. Shinra gave him a look of concern, shutting the door quietly. There was no folder in his hands, and his expressionless face made him fear the worst.

"His breathing seems to be getting better, but it's still not at a safe enough rate to say he's going to be okay." Shizuo felt a frown completely engulf his face, leaning against the wall behind him. It was the only way to keep him aloft, especially if more bad news filled his ears.

"The good news is his brain activity seems to have returned to normal, so at least we know he was able to take control of his body again," Shinra tried to say in a positive manner. But Shizuo could tell he was just trying to delude himself with a truth he didn't even want to believe.

"What about his head?" Shizuo sighed, knowing without a doubt it was the cause for Shinra's worry. The doctor nonchalantly shoved his hands in his pockets, turning his gaze to the ground.

"There's no easy way for me to say this, and I don't want you to feel bad-"

"Out with it already," Shizuo snapped, hands shaking. He couldn't take the suspense anymore. He just wanted to cuddle up with Izaya, even if he was dead, or dieing. He needed him.

"The concussion he suffered to the head was pretty severe. His senses are pretty messed up, but they'll go back to normal. There's no saying if it caused any memory loss, which is always possible." The blonde felt a lump develop in his throat. Memory loss...? What if he completely forgotten him, or everything?

"Then there's the manner of his eye. We would've been able to repair it, but it seems the few stray specs that had developed in his eyes were knocked into a permanent position at impact."

"Wh-what? Specs?" Shizuo was completely lost. If this was something they learned in school, Shinra should've known he didn't know anything about it. But just knowing his sight wasn't going to be the same because of him killed him.

"When the other thing was in Izaya, it left behind a cold trail through his eye, adding a weird data string into his DNA eye cells. Instead of rejecting it, they accepted it, which is the reason for his eye's condition." The teen just stared at the doctor with the most confused expression ever. Even with further explanation, he couldn't understand what he meant.

"So... Izaya's eye will be like that, forever?" Shinra grimly nodded, pushing his glasses back up his nose. He really didn't want to be the one telling him all this news, especially since the repercussions Izaya was suffering from were, indeed, the blonde's fault. But there was nothing else he could do, it was self-defense.

_ 'D-dammmiiittt,'_ he cried, letting a few tears stroll down his face. His bangs hung over his closed eye-lids, creating a dark shadow on his face. Even the doctor didn't want to mess with him when he looked like this, and Shizuo was his best friend.

_ 'I should've just died there... Now I only caused him more pain.'_

"Sh-Shizuo?" Shinra's voice spoke lightly, reaching out to touch the blonde. But the brute shook his head before taking off towards the stairs. He didn't know where he was going, or why, he just let his feet carry him away. With his luck, he'd stumble outside only to be greeted by stupid gang members who'd want to start a fight with him.

But he didn't find himself near any streets, horizontal of him, at least. Instead, the streets were vertical from him, which meant he found himself on the roof of Shinra's large apartment complex. He could see the town below him, glittering and buzzing with life, but the majority of them were stupid people. Then again, he wasn't any better.

What kind of person would get his own friend injured like this? To be all honest, he really didn't want to how Izaya was holding up. The mere thought of his body in such a state made him want to throw himself over the edge; and it was tempting.

_ 'Izaya...'_

Izaya slowly felt his consciousness stir, making him not knowing what to expect. The last time he gained consciousness, he was being burned alive. But he didn't feel his skin still bubbling with the wounds, so that must've been gone; unless he was dead.

Dead. The word hung in his head like a deathly bell, taunting and frightening the scared boy even more then he already was. He didn't want to leave the world behind, especially one person in particular. For some odd reason, he could swear he could feel those strong arms around him, warmth being radiated from his chest.

Slowly, he allowed his eyes to open, feeling a sting in the back of his head, but he didn't care about that right now. He wanted to see his Shizuo again, even if he wasn't able to see him anymore. The task was hard though, as his eyes felt sore. It was as if he held them open under water for over a day; if that was even possible.

The first thing he could make out was the tiled ceiling above him, the white color seeming familiar. He knew he had to be in a doctor's office of some sort, they always had this color for some reason. But that could only mean Shizuo had gotten hurt!

"You're awake?" Shinra's voice brought him back into reality, making the raven's blood go cold. The doctor was here too? Well, it made sense, Shizuo and him were good friends, but who could he be talking to? Was Shizuo hurt? And now he was awake?

"I didn't even expect you to wake up, for another day at least." Izaya slowly turned his head to the side, only now noticing that his left eye was covered up. It was pitch black, but he didn't even care at the moment. It wasn't like he needed to see anymore dead people.

Sighing, his thoughts froze, eye resting upon his friend that was looking right at him. His face was sunken with pure relief, those eyes tearing up as they made eye-contact. There was no doubt in his mind that the doctor, was in fact, staring right at him.

"Sh-Shinra?" He asked, feeling his throat a bit itchy. "What's, going on?"

Tears began streaming down the doctor's face, taking Izaya's hands into his. "You remember me? My god, I was so scared!" He smiled, leaning his forehead against the raven's cold-frail hand.

Izaya couldn't help but raised a confused eyebrow, turning his head slightly to see if Shizuo was possibly in there. "You, you can actually see me? No joke?" His voice cracked, returning his attention to the doctor. He was really worried about Shizuo, but Shinra also needed him at the moment. He could see that nearly shattered look in his eyes he usually had when he wasn't able to save a patient of his.

"Yes, yes I can see you now Izaya. We've missed you so much, welcome back."

"I missed you too Shinra, more then you can imagine," he cried, letting his own tears stroll down his cheeks. He still hadn't forgotten that night where he hugged Celty, most likely damaging their friendship. He'd be sure to apologize to her later.

"What happened? How, how did I get my body?" Despite the fact that he was really worried about Shizuo, he needed to know what exactly had been going on. So Shinra told him, not leaving out a single detail that he knew about. Izaya nearly felt himself go sick hearing how guilty Shizuo was feeling. It really wasn't his fault, Misaki would've killed him if he hadn't done something!

"Where is Shizuo?" He asked, rather urgently. He didn't know what the blonde was planning to do with all that guilt, but Izaya couldn't help but fear the worst. Not even Shizuo was mentally stable.

"He took off towards the roof... Guess he needed some fresh air to cool off." The raven's pupil's shrank to the back of his head hearing this, adrenaline weakly going through his body. Why would Shizuo want to go to the roof when he could be in here, sitting at his side? Might sound a bit conceded, but he knew the blonde well enough for this.

What if he decided to punish himself for hurting Izaya? No, no he wasn't going to allow that. He knew that if Shinra or Celty went, it wouldn't have the same effect if it was him. He knew he'd regret this, but there was no other way out of it.

Besides, he wanted his Shizuo, even if it meant being scolded at by his friends. He couldn't live without that blonde.

"Shinra, he's, he's going to try to do something stupid," Izaya cried, slowly making himself sit up. A dizzy spell immediately washed through his body, making it feel heavy. His eye-lids wanted to droop close and go back into unconsciousness from which he came.

But he wasn't going to let his Shizu-chan die.

"Hey hey hey, take it easy, that concussion's going to be messing with you for a while," Shinra whimpered, trying to slightly push the raven down. But Izaya weakly fanned his hands away.

"He, he needs me. I-I need him!"

"Wh-what are you doing, Izaya!" Shinra's mouth dropped in utter shock, watching as the raven-haired boy slid his legs out of bed, letting them touch the floor. He nearly had to bite his lip as his bare skin touched the cold floor, feeling as if it was extremely hot instead; but none of that mattered. Only Shizuo.

"No, you really shouldn't be walking, you'll fall!"

"Don't stop me, please Shinra," Izaya practically begged, turning to him with those teary-eyes. It nearly broke Shinra's heart. "I need to stop him from jumping." Izaya didn't even watch as Shinra's face went pale, letting the dots connect on their mental map. Now that he knew Shinra wasn't going to be in the way, all he had to do was get there.

Taking a deep breath, he hoisted himself out of the bed, applying all his pressure to his legs. He swayed a bit at first, feeling his world threatening to collapse on him at any moment.

_ 'No, I can't be weak,' _he lectured himself, clenching his shaking fists._ 'I have to be the one to save Shizu-chan this time...'_ With determination set, he shakingly began walking forward. He used the furniture to help guide him to the stair way and the railing to go up the steps. Luckily Shinra's apartment was on one of the higher levels, unless his legs would've given out a long time ago.

_ 'Shizu-chan, please, please be there,' _he prayed, losing concentration and falling on his face. The raven let out a pitiful squeak, his world quickly shifting around him yet again. His eyes threatened to close, sealing him away in a deep slumber he truthfully didn't know when he'd wake up from. But as he thought back to how miserable Shizuo looked without him, the way he cradled Izaya's fading spirit form, it gave him strength to keep going.

Looking up, he could see the door that lead to the top of the steps opened. His vision was too bad to see if he could make out any figures, so he continued up, shakingly reaching a hand up to pull himself up the remainder of the stairs. He was at the last step now, but his strength all but left him. His breathing had become labored, making it even more difficult to stay awake.

_ 'Shizu-channnn,'_ he cried, somehow managing to pull himself up that last step. He couldn't even think straight, reaching his hand out trying to find something else to grab, but instead, grabbed fabric and a strong ankle.

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo's voice rang in complete shock. Slowly, Izaya turned his head with a small smile, unbelievable relief flowing through him. The blonde's face was completely constricted with shock, as if he had just seen a ghost. "Wh-what are you doing up here?" He leaned down to the raven, gently caressing his hair, but being careful with the back of his head.

"You... I, I didn't want you to, to jump!" He cried uncontrollably, feeling the patch over his eye slowly soak with water. "I-I just can't live without you Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo felt a lump get caught in his throat, unable to keep the tears back before wrapping the small boy in his strong arms, pulling him onto his lap. He couldn't believe Izaya would even come all this way up here just to be sure he didn't jump! Even when he was injured to the point where he could still end up dead the next morning.

"Y-you idiot!" The blonde's voice cracked, digging his head into Izaya's shoulder, pulling the boy even closer to his body. "I'd never leave you alone, even if I have to suffer for the rest of my life!"

"Sh-Shizu-chan?" Izaya cried, clenching his shirt to bury his head even deeper against his chest. "Shizu-chann."

"I'll never let you go, you're my flea."

"A-and you're my Shizu-chan, that I like... a lot."

Shizuo couldn't help but smile at this, slowly unburrying his head and staring into Izaya's shimmering eye. "And I like you, a lot..." Gently, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Izaya's frail forehead. The raven smiled, feeling tears slowly stream down his cheeks. He didn't know the last time he felt those lips against his skin, and didn't know how he ever went without them. It was so soothing yet needing; he always wanted to have his touch.

"I missed your, touch...," the raven trailed off, feeling his heavy eye-lids begin to close. Despite his attempts to keep the sleep away, he was unable to keep the much needed sleep away. He stretched his body's limits a bit too much.

Shizuo seemed to notice this, pulling Izaya even closer to his chest. "Go ahead and rest, 'kay? I'm not gonna leave your side," he murmured in the weakened boy's ear, letting his cheek slide against his as he buried his head in his shoulder. The raven couldn't help but let out one last small smile before falling unconscious, feeling safer then ever.

Hours had passed since then, and the raven was still slumbering comfortably in Shizuo's strong arms. The blonde had carried his raven back down to the recovery room, not wanting Izaya to have a episode without being able to have medical equipment close by. Luckily Shinra allowed the blonde to crawl into the rather large hospital bed, cuddling with the injured boy. Even if Shinra had told him not to, he would've still done it. But he didn't dare drift off to sleep with fears of something happening.

What if Izaya woke up from a nightmare and needed him? He didn't dare risk accidentally punching him; damn his reflexes. He enjoyed this though, more then he probably should've. He loved the scent his baby boy radiated every second of the day. He loved the way his hair was always so silky and soft, as if it were a baby's blanket. He just loved everything about Izaya overall. He really didn't know where he'd be without him.

_ 'If only you knew how much you meant to me,'_ he sighed, clenching him a bit more. He never wanted anything to happen to him again, even if it meant his own death.

A few more hours passed, and before Shizuo could even realize it, he drifted into a deep sleep; never letting his grip lessen...


	11. Chapter 11

SOOO sorry for not updating for SOOO long, school's started again and AP English and IB film are kicking my butt, ahhh OTL I'll try to update more often though! I really will! Oh yeah, I'm going to try making a sequal to this too, so stay tuned! ^ ^

"Hm, now that's an adorable sight," Shinra smiled warmly, staring at the lovers who remained huddled together. Izaya's body was securely tucked into Shizuo's large frame, one of his arms wrapped around his chest. Izaya's arm that didn't have the IV rested on Shizuo's arm, one of his legs intertwined with Shizuo's. The blonde's chin was comfortably resting on Izaya's head, completing the sight of the two intertwined souls. If only he didn't have to check up on Izaya's concussion, he wouldn't have to interrupted their beautiful slumber.

"Shizuo, Shizuoooo," he dragged his name out soothingly, trying his best not to suddenly startle him. It wasn't a easy call to make, considering how about everything pissed him off. "Shizuooo, Izaya." Instantly, the blonde began stirring. It seemed anything that involved the raven snapped him out of his dreams. That was a reassuring thought.

"Wh-what?" He mumbled, eyes slowly opening, meeting Shinra's smiling face.

"Well morning there!" He smiled, giving a slight wave. Shizuo seemed annoyed by the fact that he was awakened, but quickly got over it.

"What's wrong with Izaya?" His voice asked rather panicked, staring down at the raven in his arms. He looked the same as he did last night, and he could feel his chest rising and falling against his arm.

"I just need to check on him; his concussion and all."

"Ohhhh," he sighed, frowning slightly. Even though he knew Izaya didn't blame him for what he did, he still couldn't help but feel the guilt that struck his heart. No matter what anyone else said, he knew he couldn't deny the fact that Izaya was in this pain because of him.

But these thoughts weren't going to do him any good. He had to be sure Izaya's state didn't worsen. Slowly, he snuggled his nose behind his ear, tickling it slightly. "Heyy, time to wake up Izi," he whispered. He could feel the small raven flinch in his arms, bringing a slight smile to his face. Izaya had to be the most adorablest thing he's ever seen.

"Mehhhhh," he groaned slightly, leaning his head in attempt to make Shizuo's slight tickle torment go away. It only made the blonde smirk, moving his chin back to his head.

"Shinra needs to check on you," his voice sounded disappointed, which he was. He just didn't want to make it seem too obvious. But when wasn't Shizuo obvious?

Izaya slowly began snapping out of his drowsiness, letting his eyes open slightly. Shizuo felt his face blush over, seeing how adorable he looked. His eyes were dropping slightly, his mouth hanging open with slight droll going down his chin. If Shinra wasn't there, he'd kiss him on the cheek.

"Mornin' Izaya," Shinra smiled, bending down to his eye-contact level.

"M-morin," Izaya miss-pronounced the word, not even seeming to realize it. It only made the blonde blush even harder; why did he have to be so adorable?!

"How you feeling today? Anything hurt?"

Izaya sat there for a moment in silence, as if trying to process the question. Shizuo swore to god if he got any cuter he'd just kiss him on the spot. "Uhhh uhhhh," he trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. Shinra couldn't blame him, usually it took someone a few moments to register any pain after sleeping for a while.

"Uhhhh a bit, I think; I think, uhhh my head feels, feels funny."

Shinra couldn't help but chuckle at the groggily behavior, running his fingers through the raven's bangs. "You're just too adorable! - But it's going to feel weird silly, it's injured."

"Injured... ohhh yeahhh," he trailed off, pulling the blonde's hand tighter against his chest. "But I'm safe, as long as Shizu-chan has me." Shizuo felt his cheeks blush over to a deep red. Izaya must've had unlimited adorableness.

"That's right," he smiled, leaning down a bit and pressed his lips against Izaya's soft cheek. The raven's eye widened before twinkling with joy, loving the contact.

"My Shizu-channnn."

"Jeeez, and you tell me and Celty to get a room!" The doctor chuckled, pushing off his knees to stand back up. Shizuo and Izaya both blushed over, turning lobster red.

"Sh-shut up four-eyes," Shizuo pouted, just realizing the position their legs were in. How awkward was that? For Shinra to walk in on, at least.

"Did you call the school?" Izaya mumbled, slowly becoming more conscious of the world around him. He didn't want everyone to get in trouble for skipping school, especially because of him. It would only add more stress on their plates.

"Yes, actually," Shinra smiled proudly, placing his hands on his hips. He had to be the bad guy. "Come on Shizuo, time to get up." The blonde sighed, letting out a long groan of annoyance. He knew he had to, he just really _really_ didn't want to.

"Ehhhh," he whined. "I don't wonnaaaa."

"Shizuo, don't make me go over there." There was no doubt in Shizuo's mind that the doctor would pull some demented move on him, hitting a special point on his body that made him jump, hurt, or even tickle. He knew Shinra enough.

"Ughh, fineee," he whined, slowly untangling himself from his raven. Izaya just chuckled a bit at this.

"Jeez Shizu-chan, you're just like a child," he teased as Shizuo pulled himself free.

"Heh, you're the one to talk," he laughed, getting up from the bed. Shinra couldn't help but continue to shake his head at the two, wondering how he got stuck with the two of them. Sometimes he really had to wonder.

"Sometimes I still think the both of you haven't grown up at all. - Now go wait outside prince-charming, I need to give your princess more x-rays." The two lovers looked at each other with wide-eyes, not believing what Shinra had just said. Now they were part of his own fantasy? Being called prince and princess made them both a bit playful.

"You better be fragile with her," he smirked playfully, winking at the raven. Izaya's mouth closed, slipping his tongue out like a small child would do. He really had to be the girl in their relationship (that is, if Shizuo could call this a relationship), there really wasn't another way to see it. He was the blonde's only love, and he was determined to protect him.

"Watch what you say, I can make you sleep on the couch!" Izaya quickly barked. Shinra and Shizuo couldn't help but laugh, finding the come-back a little too girlish and childish. But the blonde couldn't help but feel alarmed with the fact that Izaya hadn't sat up yet. He was still laying on his side, barely moving at all.

"Yeah yeah, I'd just have to take you with me then," he winked before disappearing out the door. He wanted Shinra to take a look at him, hoping he'd be able to fix Izaya more. There had to be some kind of medicine, right? They had those chemotherapy treatments for cancer patients; they had to have something, though may be extreme, for people who've received concussions. He didn't care how much it would cost, he was willing to work hard labor for the rest of his life. There was so much he would give up for that adorable boy.

_ 'When did I ever fall in love with you?'_ He wondered, feeling his phone vibrate against his pant-leg. It nearly made him jump, completely new to the whole vibrating business. Usually he had it on sound, but since he slept with Izaya, he didn't want to run the risk of waking him.

Slowly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, studying the small screen. He had three text messages; one from work, one from Kadota, and one from-

"Kasuka?" He gasped, quickly opening it first. He rarely got a message from his brother, due to his busy schedule and all. Being a first-time actor for three movies at the same time must've really been draining.

_ 'Two of the films I'm in are almost done, mind if I come visit sometime next month?' _It read. It wasn't much, having none of those 'how are you' or 'what's new' questions. And to be completely honest, Shizuo could care less about them. This was a message from his brother, and he cared about him with all his heart.

A small smile began lifting on the side of his face, feeling tears of joy threatening to leak. He couldn't wait to see him, it's been so long since he's seen any of his family. He could care less about his parents, they left them for business over six years ago. Kasuka was the only one he had that actually understood him throughout elementary school. Unfortunately, his parents got him a role in one of the movies he was currently working on, deciding to finally do something for a change. Guess it was for the better, he seemed to enjoy it a lot. Now he had Izaya to look after him, making him feel like a normal human being instead of a monster .

God, he couldn't wait for them to meet. Quickly, his fingers raced across the screen, responding to his brother without even having to think._ 'That's great! Can't wait to finally see you then! Oh, and I have to introduce you to someone I kinda fell for...,'_ he blushed typing that last part, nearly having to look away from the screen. Not that his brother minded if he sent him a wordy text, he just knew Kasuka would want to know about Izaya. By the time he got there, he hoped they'd be dating; if all went well.

_ 'He's really nice and adorable, I can hardly even think of a reason to be without him. - Can't wait to see you!'_ He hit send as soon as he stopped typing, not wanting to reread what he just wrote. He really didn't want to lose his nerve and not tell Kasuka. It was a bit weird telling him that he was gay, but there was no getting around it. His soul-mate was his soul-mate, and he knew his brother would understand.

When he was sure his message sent, he selected Kadota's. He most likely wanted to know how Izaya as doing. That kid would be here right now if he wasn't so desperate about getting good grades in school. He wouldn't even take a three day vacation with his parents before he moved out.

_ 'I've got three tests today that go towards my final grade, unless I would've stayed this time,'_ it began, sounding so guilty. Shizuo couldn't help but smile a bit, glad that he felt that way. He was shocked by the fact that Kadota had even written he would've been there if it weren't for tests; it was so out of character for him.

_ 'Whenever you get the results back, please inform me, thanks.' _At least the blonde didn't feel all that bad about not responding to their friend earlier, he wouldn't have been able to say anything. Shinra was just now starting the x-ray that really mattered.

Sighing, he closed the text, opening the last one; it was from his work. He hadn't even called in throughout this whole ordeal. Luckily the owner was like a father to him, always looking out for him. He no doubt went to his apartment to check on him. Unfortunately, he's been here with Shinra most of the time.

_ 'Haven't heard from you in a while, just worried about you. Please text me back when you get this so I know you're alright.'_ Ah, Garry. He really should've thought about him during this whole thing, but he slipped his mind. There was no doubt his boss was going to hound him with questions, and he'd have to tell the truth. Shizuo just hoped he liked Izaya as much as he did once they were introduced.

_ 'I'm okay, my friend I always tell you about got really hurt and they didn't think he was going to make it. I've been staying at his side, since I know that's what he'd want. He's awake now, Shinra's doing the x-ray to check up on everything. He's doing a lot better now that he's breathing on his own. Sorry for missing so much work. I promise I'll make it up,'_ he typed, letting his head hit the wall behind him. He didn't even want to think of work at the moment, not with this happening. He wanted to stay with Izaya, never letting him go for as long as they lived. But that could never happen. Not when life was so unfair.

After about an hour of waiting, the clicking of the door opening snapped the blonde out of his thoughts. He hardly even noticed it, seeing how quiet it sounded from where he was. It could have something to do with how tired he was.

"I'll get your Prince Charming, just wait, 'kay?" Shinra seemed to nervously speak, that forced smile plastered on his face. He seemed even more distressed as a small squeak formed into a sentence, making his smile droop into guilt. "You won't be alone for long, promise! I'll let Shizuo tell you the results, 'kay? Then you two can sleep the day away." Shizuo knew he was talking to Izaya, and felt a knife stab his heart hearing that last response.

_ 'You won't be alone for long.'_ Izaya had been alone for too long; what the hell was Shinra thinking? Why couldn't he just tell Izaya the results himself? Was this part of some elaborate scheme to make the two love each other even more?

Slowly, the doctor finally closed the door, making the blonde spring to his feet. He would've earlier, but then he wouldn't have be able to hold himself back and run to Izaya's side. Ahh, curse his over-protective feelings.

"God... it hurts, doesn't it?" Shinra trembled from where he stood, clenching the folder in his hands with shaking hands. His face was covered in a slight black layer, his face hard to see. Was he crying?

"Heyy," the blonde frowned, going over to the doctor. He hated seeing any of his friends cry, especially hurt. He knew Shinra must've been holding all his emotions back the whole time, and was wondering when he was going to break. If he was smart enough, he would've made him break sooner so he wouldn't have to suffer so long.

"It always hurts when you can't really do anything," Shizuo honestly replied, pulling Shinra in for a quick hug. They were usually only reserved for his raven, but he had to make an exception. Shinra was breaking down.

"Y-yeah, but when you can and screw it up it hurts!" He cried, letting himself be smashed against the blonde's chest. Shizuo really never did this, to anyone. Izaya was the only one ever worthy of comfort hugs. Yet, how could he not comfort Shinra? He was his friend too, and even saved Izaya's life. Yet, his comment was disturbing.

"What do you mean?"

Shinra was silent for a moment, sniffling. He could tell the doctor didn't know how to word it. "I-I should've stopped him," he choked on the words, having extreme difficultly letting this knowledge out. God, the suspense was killing the blonde. He just wanted to know if Izaya was going to be okay!

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Y-you know when he went up to the roof?"

No.

No.

No. God no, please, don't tell him it was his fault again. PLEASE; he'd give up his legs, anything!

"Y-yeah?" Shizuo tried to say in a confirming voice so Shinra wouldn't stop and make something up.

"... he, he proved that he loved you~!" He chuckled and choked on his small laughs, nearly making Shizuo want to throw him against the wall. The blush on his face was too bright for his own good, only making him want to throw him off more.

"Is that it?!" He snapped weakly.

"No, but part of it," his giggles trailed off, pushing himself away from Shizuo. The blonde didn't resist, allowing the little cheater to remove himself. "Well, he hit his head against one of the stairs... and it didn't settle well." Shizuo felt his blood run cold, body swaying a bit. He couldn't have heard him correctly, could he?

"Wh-what?"

Shinra shakingly opened the envelope, pulling out the papers inside of it. For only being in there for an hour, he sure has gotten a lot quicker at this. "It's messing with his balance, senses, and should start affecting some of his memory."

This couldn't' be happening. This couldn't be happening. "His, memory?"

Shinra nodded sadly, flipping through the various papers rather quickly, as if they were really useless references to his health. "I can't tell how long it'll last, but the memory shouldn't be permanent, and the senses should only be for a few days. But his balance will take a while, he's nearly developed complete Verdigo."

Shizuo tilted his head and the word, wishing Shinra knew he wasn't that educated. The doctor noticed this, "it means he the world shifts around him and he can't tell if there's a step or not, and falls really easily. Most can't drive due to this or walk alone for long periods of time." The blonde nodded, showing that he understood now. A part of him didn't really think it was all that bad. It gave him more of an excuse to be near the boy twenty-four seven. But he knew Izaya would hate that. He didn't like be so needy all the time.

Yet, it was still his fault. He hated it. He hated being the one causing all his pain and misery. God-damm it. GOD-DAMMIT! "Oh... is that it?" He asked, clenching his shaking fists.

"Yeah, you can see him now," Shinra smiled, seeming to be feeling a lot better. Shizuo's hugs were like magic.

The blonde nodded with a small smile, going in without wasting another moment. Izaya was still on his bed, though in a different position then before; thank god. He really didn't know what he'd do if he was.

"Shizu-chan!" He cried, trying to grab onto the side rail, but kept missing. His hand was aiming too high. Ahh, and this was what Shinra was talking about... God, he wanted to hurt himself so badly at the moment.

"How you feelin' Izaya?" He asked, somehow managing to keep a strong voice. This, all of this was his freakin fault. Izaya in pain, Izaya being forced on IV and occasional breathing treatment. His eye-sight, his balance, everything that he was suffering from was the result of him. First, it was the concussion from the pole, and now the effects of hitting his head against a step as he was trying to reach him. Why couldn't he just love someone without hurting them?!

"And don't give me bull either," Shizuo quickly snapped, knowing that Izaya would lie about it. The raven opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. He really couldn't argue with Shizuo, he'd be severely punished for it.

"I don't feel so good, actually," he sighed, finally grabbing a hold of the rail. "I'm so dizzy, I can hardly even grab the rail! It seems so much higher up then it actually is." The raven gave it a tight squeeze with that sad eye, gaze studying Shizuo intently. The blonde always knew Izaya was watching him, studying him, reading him. It was what he was best at. He wouldn't be able to hide the fact that he felt guilty as hell, so might as well say it.

"It's all my fault," he growled, clenching his fists and shaking his head rather viciously. He hated this. He hated all of this. He hated the fact that Izaya was hurt, double hurt because of him. Triple hurt, if he counted the whole 'Misaki' business. He didn't even know where that ass hole went, and quite frankly, didn't care.

He could hear Izaya shift in the bed uncomfortably, and knew what was coming. "It's not your fault Shizu-"

"Yes it is!" The blonde snapped, making Izaya flinch. Shizuo immediately regretted it, knowing the raven hated being yelled at. But it needed to be done. He didn't want Izaya to delude himself with the truth; he was in pain because of him. "If I hadn't ignored you in the first place, you wouldn't have wished to not exist, and if I had died or handled being strangled better, you wouldn't have gotten a concussion, and if I reacted better to hearing what I caused, your concussion would not have gotten worse!" He continued to rant, not even looking at Izaya anymore. He was just so fed up with everything, fed up with himself. Why couldn't he even protect the one person he cared about the most? Everything he did just ended up hurting him.

"Worse...?" He could make out the raven's small voice repeat, as if letting the information sink-in. His voice held no apparent emotions, throwing the blonde off like usual. He could never tell what he was thinking or feeling, and it was so damned annoying. But there was no doubt in his mind that he was upset with Shizuo, causing him to get hurt as much as he was.

"Ohh... well... I don't think it really matters."

Didn't really, matter? What? Could Izaya hear what he was saying? Or did he just not understand?

"Whatever made it get worse had to of been natural, so don't think it's your fault Shizu-chan." Shizuo felt his blood freeze over, processing what he had just said. It happened, naturally? Izaya really didn't have a clue, did he?

Slowly, he looked back up, focusing his gaze to the small raven who looked rather scared. He wasn't able to hide it, unlike all his other emotions. But that was better for him. He'd be able to comfort him.

"No, it wasn't natural," Shizuo chocked again, though studying Izaya very carefully. "You hit your head again on your way up the stairs to see me, which was so stupid!" He cried, clenching his fists tightly to his sides."Y-you should've just stayed here, I-I would've came eventually."

"W-what?" Izaya asked, his voice full of shock. It made Shizuo tune-back into reality, staring at Izaya's completely confused face with horror. No, this couldn't be-

"Y-you mean, y-you don't remember?" Oh no, no no no. This couldn't be happening. No, he refused to live with this reality. No. Never. He'd never come to believe in this reality.

"R-remember, going up stairs...? Was that, here?" Izaya seemed to be getting a bit stressed, clenching his hair and tugging it.

"Y-yeah, when you first woke up. You were afraid I was going to jump," Shizuo gulped, taking a nervous step forwards. Izaya looked up at him, his pupils shrunk to the back of his eyes. He looked like he was going to lose it.

"Wh-what? I-I DON'T REMEMBER!" The raven cried, tugging at his hair rather violently. Shizuo wanted to reach over and stop him from hurting himself, but couldn't find it in-himself. He'd probably just cause him to get more injured.

GOD-DAMMITT! This was all his fault, he did this. Izaya's memory was screwed up because of him. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to just kill himself to save Izaya the trouble of hurting more.

"Why don't I remember?! Shizuo, Shizu-chan!" He trembled, trying to pull his legs up to his chest, but his body didn't seem to comply with it. "I'm scared, I'm so scared."

Just hearing him so terrified tore something within the blonde, something he didn't know he had until now. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He himself was feeling the bridge of insanity nipping at his mind, but if he went insane, things wouldn't turn out well.

"I-it's all my fault, everything, like I said, I'm sorry, I'M SO SORRY!" Shizuo cried, clenching his fists so tight he nearly drew blood. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to get away from here. He was going to burst if this kept going. Not being able to do anything but make things worse. So he turned and raced towards the door. He didn't know where he was going or why, he just wanted to get away.

"Shi-Shizuo, wait! PLEASEE!" Izaya's frail voice cried, failing a bit. It stopped Shizuo's hand from pressing down on the handle, making him stand there. That voice, so full of pain made him want to die. But when he needed him, he couldn't leave him. Why couldn't Izaya understand how much he cared about him? He was trying to do this for his own good!

"I don't know what happened, but I really don't care!" Izaya began, sounding so desperate his throat caught here and there. It only made Shizuo feel worse, but stayed where he was. "If everything really is your fault, then, I don't care!"

What...? Izaya, didn't care if he caused him this turmoil? What? He really must've been messed up.

"You don't know what you're sayin-"

"Yes, yes I do!" Izaya snapped in such a pleading voice it caused the blond to turn around. He was instantly shocked, seeing tears falling down his cheeks in endless waterfalls. His eye was red-rimmed and puffy, as if he was trying his best to keep the tears in to no avail.

"I don't care if you were the one that caused everything, because that doesn't change a thing to me. I-I still like you, a lot... and it doesn't matter what you've done, all that matters is that you're here now." Slowly, the raven's red eye gazed up into Shizuo's mocha ones, only making it harder for Shizuo to run away. "You're here now when I need you the most."

"B-but what if-"

"No," Izaya quickly cut him off, making the blond go silent. "Please... No more 'what ifs.' I-I'm scared Shizuo, I'm so scared! I-I can't focus right, I can't remember things, I can't smell anything, I can hardly feel the blankets-" the list went on and on, but the blond had completely tuned it out. Everything he was listing, was all his fault. Not being able to feel, to see, to remember; everything. Everything was his damned fault, why didn't Izaya see this?! He knew the raven just wanted him to be there for him, but how? How could he when all he's done before-hand was cause him to get worse? It was no use; he'd never be able to love Izaya.

"And all of that, is because of ME! THE BIG FREAKIN' MONSTER OF IKEBUKURO!" He snapped into a yell, turning back to the door. He was done. He was going to end all of this. He made the only person he's ever cared for hate him; life just wasn't worth living for anymore. Knowing he killed the person who showed him he could

The first time Izaya was scared was all his fault; no shocker there. He had lost his temper and thrown him into a bunch of lockers when the raven had uttered the nickname 'Shizu-chan'. He didn't particularly dislike it, just the way he said it made him so damned flustered he knew he wouldn't be able to keep Izaya away from him for long. So he kept him away from him as much as possible, but that only caused all this. What was so bad with ignoring him? It did more harm to him then anyone else, right? He was the one that suffered.

Yet, Izaya was the one deeply suffering.

"NOOO!" Izaya suddenly screamed, snapping the blond out of his thoughts. He hadn't expected Izaya to scream, not that loud or to that degree. He sounded so hurt, so pained. But why? Was he hurting? "Pleasee, please, I'M BEGGING YOU!" He cried, his voice choking so badly it sounded like it hurt; and it probably did. "Pleasee, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN, _PLEASE!"_

Something within Shizuo seemed to break hearing the plea. He was so upset. He was so scared. And he had done that, yet again. What had he been thinking? Leaving him would only make things worse, making him feel invisible all over again. Izaya didn't deserve this; any of this. The least he could do was be there for him, feeling that hole that was most likely permanent in his chest.

"Shi-Shizu-channn," Izaya sobbed, bringing his hands up to his eyes. He didn't seem to be paying attention anymore, only making the blond feel worse then before. But that only meant he had to redeem himself; and he was determined to do it.

Slowly, he went on over to Izaya's side, crawling onto the bed. The crying raven didn't seem to notice, so he carefully wrapped his strong arms around his small frame, pulling him against his chest. Izaya gasped at the action, eyes snapping wide-open.

"I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean to make you so sad," Shizuo began apologizing, digging his head into his little boy's soft-raven hair. "I-I don't know what was wrong with me. B-but I promise, I'll never leave you alone again."

Izaya seemed completely lost for words, not moving or saying anything for a few moments. Shizuo was beginning to fear he lost the raven in mid-plight, until he felt the small hands pull on his shirt.

"Shi-Shizu-chan!" He cried, burring his head into his chest. "Shizu-channn, Shizu-channn!"

"I-I'm sorry, for blowing up," Shizuo sighed, leaving a small kiss in his hair. Izaya didn't seem to notice, as he scouted his body even closer to the brute's.

"It's okay Shizu-chan," Izaya mumbled into his chest, his body slowly relaxing. "Hmm... you're warm..."

Shizuo couldn't help but smile softly. "I'm glad, I'll always be warm for you. - Go ahead and rest, I'll be right here when you wake up." Izaya didn't even question it, as he slowly drifted off... _'I'll never leave you alone, never again...'_


End file.
